In 2008 I.....
1) Suffered my first true broken heart and after a year of struggling am finally beginning to mend it. My relationship with John was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to go through and it really made me see in myself how naieve I was about love. It was painful but taught me so much about myself and helped me see what I'm really looking for in my life and the kind of person I need to be with. It took an entire year, but I've finally made peace within myself that I was never meant to be with him and that finding the strength to let him go was a great blessing.
2) Worked and worked and worked. My job this year was very challenging. Lack of vacation time, a very stressful summer, and my damaged heart made for a difficult year on the job but I'm so grateful for the family I work for, for their patience with me during my hard year and the love my two little kiddos show me every day. Its chaotic, its messy, its crazy and busy but I do still love my job and still love working with kids. Its also taught me so much about what kind of mom and wife I want to be and how I want to take care of my own home and family, hopefully someday soon!
3) Found peace with myself and My Savior
I'm not perfect and in this life I won't be....but its okay, Heavenly Father knew we couldn't be and he provided the way through our dear Savior. He takes what I can give and makes up the rest. What a miraculous thing the Atonement is. I felt for years that all I could do was never enough and while that is true, I never allowed myself to really understand The Saviors willingness to take the rest of the burden. It somehow felt wrong to me to put that onto Him....I had to find the way to be perfect on my own or I'd never be okay. But that is His purpose, and I have to allow Him into my life to be MY Savior. I truly found that peace this year as I found myself lost in very dark places. The only way out of the darkness was through Him and I'm so grateful for that. It is still a process, but slowly I'm allowing Him to change me, to strengthen me and to light my way back to our Heavenly Father.
4) I received my temple endowment
The highlight of my year and truly one of the highlights of my entire life took place on December 6, 2008 when escorted by my mom and accompanied by my best friend I received my endowment at the Manhattan Temple! It was the most amazing, spiritual experience I've ever had and I know that had it not happened at the end of such a difficult year I never could have fully appreciated that joy and peace I felt in my heart that day.
2008 was a very long and difficult journey...I'm glad its over and look forward to the future
2 comments:
Oh what a year! I would definitely agree that this has been one of the most difficult years of my life too. I'm so proud of the progress you've made. And isn't it amazing that the capstone of your year was going through the temple? What a perfect pinnacle to 2008.
You had quite a year. I loved looking at the pictures you had up of when Aubrey came and visited. That must have been a lot of fun!
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