"The Waiting Place"

I'm beginning to gain a genuine understanding and appreciation for the idea that having a set date in mind when focusing on a goal is the only way to see it through. And it's not just for goals, really its for anything in life. Things you look forward to, things you dread, whatever the "event" I think it must always be better to know the time frame for it.

In the book, Oh The Places You'll Go, Dr. Seuss describes a dreadful place...

"The Waiting place, for people just waiting..."

I'm stuck in "The Waiting Place" right now wishing I could break free from it somehow, just as Dr. Seuss promises I will. I've been in this place for almost 5 months now. I guess in the grand scheme of things 5 months doesn't seem like much at all, but in "The Waiting Place" 5 months seems like an eternity. The worst part about being stuck in "The Waiting Place" is not knowing when you get to leave it. Which of course brings me back to my original thought....its better to have a time frame. 5 months has been a long time to wait, but I had a rough idea of time in mind and that gave me a point of reference to focus on. However, now that "rough idea of time" has been reached, but I'm still waiting, I still don't have the answer to the question, "When?"

It could be this weekend, it could be next month. It should be before Thanksgiving or before Christmas, at least. But what if its longer? Or what if its almost here? It could even be tonight? But I don't know and the not knowing is torture. Remember being a little kid and asking mom and dad over and over again "Are we there yet?" and after the frustrated "No" asking simply "When?" If you can see the destination, even if its further away then you want it to be, at least you know and it makes it seem attainable. But even knowing the final destination, if you don't know how long it will be before you arrive there, it makes you feel like you never will get there. Like its a mirage, a silly vision you've been foolishly holding in your mind that will never actually come true.

Every day being stuck in "The Waiting Place" is getting harder and harder and every day the thing I'm waiting for seems to travel further and further out of my reach rather than feeling like its getting closer, as it should and truly must be...all because there's no time frame. How do you stay put in "The Waiting Place" and not lose your mind? Dr. Seuss makes "The Waiting Place" out to be a terrible trap you must avoid...like its a place a smart person would never dare find themselves in. But that's not always the case, I don't think. Some things are worth waiting for. If they weren't, those who are stuck there would never bother staying so long. Its not like waiting is fun.

When you're stuck in any sort of waiting place, you look for any way to track the time you will be trapped there. In a grocery store line you are constantly glancing at those in front of you, calculating somewhere in the back of your mind how many people there are until it is your turn and how long each will take based on any factor from how many items are in their cart, to the age or experience level of the person doing the "checking". At a hideous place like the DMV, they at least give you a shred of mercy by giving you a number. You can watch the sign that tells you what number they're currently on and even if you're number 103 and they're only on number 7, at least you know where you stand and how long the torture of waiting will last. Even at the doctors office, though you don't have any indication of how long the wait will be, you still can't help looking around and making a mental tally of others in the room: "They came in before me.....they came in after me....that person looks sicker than I am, perhaps their situation is more urgent..."

Our minds, our sanity needs to calculate time in some way in order to outsmart "The Waiting Places" of our lives.

My time in "The Waiting Place" is certainly self imposed. I could leave it at anytime I wanted to, but at the cost of something much more precious. There are ways around "The Waiting Place", ways to out smart it, and escape it before it tells you its your actual time to go. But I can't do them. No, waiting is the only option I have, which makes me feel even more trapped. Oh how I wish that I had that time frame to look to. A way to cross off time as it passes by, to count down to the moment I can finally bid "The Waiting Place" farewell. But that won't happen, there is nothing to count, nothing to cross off.....just me, waiting.