Gardening...Its not for everyone

This year Phil and I decided to have a garden (Okay...honestly, PHIL decided we'd have a garden...I just sort of had to go along with it) We bought some seeds, planted them in empty egg cartons filled with compost we went and gathered from the city (helped shovel it and everything!) watered them...and watched them grow.

(Not actually photo of our egg cartons...not sure where those ended up on my computer lol) Despite my begrudging attitude toward the MacDonald garden, I actually started to get really excited when our little plants began to sprout up! Next came time to plant them... Phil gets all the credit for that...he planted everything! Together we kept them watered and weeded and watched them grow and it was all rather exciting for me! My favorite thing to watch was the corn...I LOVE corn on the cob! I was so totally excited about eating my own corn on the cob that we'd grown all ourselves! As the stalks grew from their tiny little seeds I had quite the sense of garden pride. The peas were the first thing to be ready for picking and they were so yummy we were eating them straight out of the pods...but when all was said and done...we only got enough peas for about one meal. That was a bit of a let down, though they were delicious! However both Phil and I began to think our little garden just wasn't big enough to give us the results we hoped for. Still it was a fun to have a little taste of home grown veggies. But that all changed...when the racoon came! Remember those beautiful corn stalks I was so excited about? You should have seen the excitment the day we could see the actual ears of corn finally start growing! I couldn't wait to harvest them...but before we got the chance to, we woke up one morning to find that a racoon had visited our garden and knocked over our stalks of corn and eaten off of our little corn ears! Seriously!?! All that work to feed a RACOON!?!?! Well...that was it for me. Once that dumb racoon ate my corn I lost all interest in the stupid garden. We went on vacation and didn't even bother asking anyone to water it for us. After we came back, Phil went out one day and started to clear out the garden which was overrun with weeds and dead or half eaten veggies. He mananged to salvage a few cucumbers which honestly did pretty well (One is HUGE! I want to make it a giant pickle! hehe) but the funniest part of our garden is the item doing best of all...the tomatoes!

Why is that funny....because we didn't PLANT any tomatoes!!! After we started growing our plants, Phil noticed that some tomoto plants were sprouting up in odd places. Turns out they came from the compost we'd gotten from the city! So he started digging them up and transplanting them into a nice tidy row at the end of our garden. Now, those tomotoes are growing great! Nice and big and delicious! Today we had some of them roasted with olive oil, salt, pepper, and parmesean herb seasoning! DELICIOUS! Gotta say though...its a pretty big slap in the gardeners face when the only plant to do well is the one they didn't plant! Haha Needless to say...we won't be gardening next year...I'll stick to getting my fresh produce from local farm stands. Gardening is NOT for me! :)

Making Time For Me...A Bit of an Epiphany

Last night something strange happened... Phil and I had a silly tiff over something really dumb. I wasn't really mad, just felt annoyed with the situation and with him (to be fair I'm sure he felt mad and/or annoyed with me too!) It wasn't anything major...nothing that needed to be hashed out. I knew it would just resolve when we were both in a better mood. This isn't the strange part...this stuff happens with couples. What was strange was that I was perfectly fine spending the evening without him. The fact is, I don't think that's ever happened before! Even when I'm mad at him, even when we're fighting, whatever the case may be, I HATE being apart from him. When I have church activities or book club or work or anything that takes me away from him for an evening, all I can do is look at the clock and long to have whatever it is over with so I can get back home to him. Last night, I didn't feel that. Instead of rushing home I went to a friends instead and had a lovely evening with her and her cute little baby boy. I realized how desperately I've missed "girl time". It was really nice to just be with a friend, calm and relaxed and enjoying the company of someone other than Phil. A part of me hurts over this. I love Phil so tremendously with everything I am. All the time we spent apart during our courtship and beginning of our marriage took its toll on me emotionally. Once we were finally here in Canada together, it took months for me to be okay just being in a different room than him. It sounds pathetic...rather it IS pathetic. I'm sort of a sad little puppy that feels the need to follow him around from room to room simply because I hated it so much when we couldn't be together. But I think because of that emotional strain, I've let myself get rather lost in my relationship...allowing it to completely define me and somehow left Amanda, the independent woman who lived on the East Coast for 6 years, totally behind. Maybe that's over evaluating it...I'm still me of course. I still like the same things and have the same personality quirks, etc. The thing is, all those things I enjoy, I don't spend much time doing them anymore. Reading, photography, taking a drive for no reason, spending time alone in nature, spending hours on the phone with old friends, going to dinner or out to movies with girlfriends, writing, drawing, creating, guitar....How long its been since I do any of these things. The most I do is read, but even then, if its not an audio book I'm lucky to make it through a single book in many months time. Instead of choosing to spend solo time doing any of these things I enjoy, I choose to spend all my time doing whatever Phil happens to be doing. That choice individually isn't bad, in fact I think its one of the reasons Phil and I are so close and our relationship is so strong, because we do make the time and effor to be together a lot. But, I think...I know, it would be healthier for me if I made the effort from time to time and chose to do something for me. Its not an easy thing for me to admit. I really LOVE spending time with my husband. He's my very best friend and a tremendous about of my life's joy. But it really is important for me to remember that he's not my ONLY joy and that many things brought me joy before he was ever in my life. So, its an effort I am really going to try and make, whether its once a week or a few times a month...I just need to make the choice to spend time with Amanda....not just hang out with the MacDonald's all the time. I am a MacDonald...but I was Amanda first.

Happy 25th Birthday Adam

Happy Birthday to my angel Adam...Love and miss you everyday XOXOXOX

Favorite Things....At The Moment

BREAKING DAWN: Part 1



Thus far I've been completely disappointed by the Twilight movies....until now that is. Breaking Dawn Part 1 was in my opinion fantastic! I love the books and this was the first time I felt like they really followed the book and captured the essence of what the book is supposed to be and feel like. Most surprisingly was that Phil really liked it to. We saw it twice in the theater and I can't wait for it to be out on DVD! I've been listening to the soundtrack and score a lot lately and I love it!



Another movie I can't wait for DVD is In Time. Phil and I saw this on a whim but I was completely taken by surprise with it and kept thinking about it days later. A very interesting movie that I'd love to see again.



HUNGER GAMES MOVIE

I can't wait to see this...I get goosebumps just from the trailer!



BOOKS:




Currently I haven't been reading much new stuff...just too busy with the holidays. But I have been making good use of my audio books on my ipod. Recently I've relistened to The Hunger Games Trilogy (excitement sparked by the trailer previously shared!) and The Time Traveler's Wife, one of my all time favorite books.



I've been going to Curves the last few weeks on a trial membership and think I'm going to join in the new year. I really enjoy the convenience of it...just run in and get a full workout in 30 minutes then back out the door again. Plus its right by our house.



In exercising and eating healthy, Phil and I have cut out one of our favorite things....Dill Pickle flavored potato chips. But we've found a healthier option....Dill Pickle popcorn seasoning! Our new favorite snack...air popper popcorn and this amazing stuff! Don't even miss chips now!



While eating our popcorn, Phil and I have been sucked into a One Tree Hill marathon! This was one of my favorite shows before we got married and now I've hooked Phil into too...Mwahahaha

MUSIC:



My music favorites currently include the Breaking Dawn soundtracks, Faber Drive, Marianas Trench, Sugarcult and the song Secrets by One Republic...LOVE IT!



Last but not least....I'm still obsessed with Settlers of Catan. Love playing this with my brother and sister-in-law :)

Ramblings

Its been a very long time since I've blogged and I think its time I get back to it. There's so much to report that its really too much to say so instead of giving a full blown back story of the last 8 months, I will simply post a few random ramblings...not very informative I suppose but maybe entertaining at least haha And hopefully will be the start of my return to the blog world...

1. Last night Phil and I watched Batman: The Dark Knight. All night I had crazy nightmares about the Joker that freaked me out to the point that when I got up to use the restroom at about 4 am, I was actually a little scared to return to bed because I had a horrible thought that what if the Joker came in, killed Phil and took his place in bed while I was out of the room? Moral of the story....I probably shouldn't watch scary movies before bed...and when I'm tired, I'm really out of touch with reality haha

2. We're doing a bunch of work on our house at the moment....lots of painting and sanding and updating things...I feel very HGTV

3. Phil and I have been making efforts to eat healthier and get to the gym regularly...I love jogging and weight lifting (just not very good at it yet) and best of all is relaxing in the hot tub with my sweetie after a long workout :)

4. Going up to the trailer next weekend...its Alishea's 17th birthday and our one year anniversary of when Phil proposed to me :) Can't believe its been that long!

5. The baby I nanny is almost 1 year old and is into that fun phase where she's almost about to walk, is eating solid foods and really starting to understand the world around her.....soooo much fun!

6. Much as I'm loving being in Canada and being with Phil every day, I'm really feeling isolated from family and friends...miss everyone in the states :(

7. Apparently my old job has gone through at least 5 replacements since I left in Feb....hmm, guess now they're realizing just how much of the bomb diggity I was!

8. Every Saturday morning for about a month, I would get up and make cookies....we dubbed this event "Cookie Saturday" (I know...creative lol)...now we're trying to be more healthy....no more "Cookie Saturdays" :( So sad

9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was a seriously massive disappointment....Warner Bros completely butchered the canon....Boo on you WB!

10. Phil and I have almost been married a year....that is crazy! Time sure is flying by...so glad we're together now :)

Time Together, Time Apart, Always Waiting

I just finished rereading The Time Traveler's Wife. The first time I read it was last year during my month of silence from Phil and I guess the time of year gave me the desire to reread it again...perhaps this will be a December reading tradition for me. At the time, I felt a stong connection to Clare and the way her character is waiting for Henry. From the very first paragraph Clare gives us I felt I knew just how she was feeling. There I was alone, waiting for Phil to come back, if he was coming back and completely unaware of when that might be.

Fast forward to now and I feel an even stronger connection to Clare then I did last year. Thankfully time traveling does NOT exsist and we're not plagued by it, but our life is full of ups and downs, togethers and not-togethers. When we're apart I mostly feel like I'm just coasting through, trying to hang on until we're together again, counting the days till we're back with each other. Some days I'm fine, sometimes I enjoy being alone and the freedoms it gives, as Clare describes, but mostly I just miss being with him and worry about him and wish it was time for us to be together.

Clare and Henry's is such a beautifully tragic tale. For them, the periods of separation and waiting and worrying never end...Clare spends her entire life waiting. Our blessing is that our separations will end and hopefully soon...hopefully the long weeks of waiting to be together will become long hours from morning till night as we go our separate working ways each day, like normal married people.

Santa Boxes Together

Last year during our month of no talking I was going crazy. Being the pessimist I am my mind started to run amock...What if something happens to him? Would someone know to call me? Would anyone let me know?

As these horrible thoughts swirled in my brain I decided to Google Phil's name (I know, I know...stalkerish aren't I? LOL) to see if anything came up...like say an accident news report or an obituary...My hope was the lack of anything would help calm me down...but I did find something.

There was a news report but it wasn't anything bad...it was an article about how Phil had volunteered as a driver, delivering Santa boxes to children in need. As I read the article I (being me) started crying. I was so happy to see that he was not only okay, but doing service for others. What a wonderful man I'd found! I also felt terrible that I'd been wallowing and depressed and imagining the worst while he was using our time apart to do something for others. It brought such peace to my heart at a time I needed it so much.



This year, one of the things I was most looking forward to was getting the chance to do this awesome service WITH Phil! His participation in it had meant so much to me last year. This year we could share it together. Last weekend I got to help deliver Santa boxes with Phil and Alishea. It was so fun and was so nice seeing the excited looks on those little kids faces when they saw the boxes we were bringing. Most of all I loved doing something to help others with the people who matter most to me. Great day!