But tonight, when my heart was full of fear and doubt, I received 2 pieces of information that made my heart feel lighter, brought peace to my soul and made me genuinely smile (and get rather teary too!)
Smile #1 is for my brother James:
James was adopted by my dad during his first marriage. After his divorce, James and my dad found my mom and thus I arrived on the scene.
Growing up, I absolutely adored my big brother. Even after our dad died and he moved to California to be with his mom, we still managed to stay close and as we've grown up, that love and bond has only gotten better. I've never seen him as a half brother or an outsider who was adopted into our family. He's always just been my brother, James. I love him with all my heart!
After a lifetime of wondering and months of searching, tonight, James finally found and talked with his birth mother... After talking to James tonight, hearing about this wonderful woman who gave him life and then gave him to us, my heart was so full of warm fuzzies I felt like the Grinch! I swear my grumpy, depressed heart grew 3 sizes just like in the cartoon! It was so nice to really genuinely smile and feel grateful and blessed. I'm soooooo amazingly grateful to this lovely lady for being brave enough at a young age to have James and then to give him up so that I could grow up with the world's very best big brother. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!!!!!
Smile #2 is for my Sweetheart, Phil
It hasn't been an easy road thus far for Phil and I. Our budding relationship has been hit with so many barricades I feel like I'm in the middle of a never-ending construction zone (you know the ones I mean...those roads that are always blocked off, though you never see the guys working and years later you're still getting stuck on them wondering what on Earth could possibly be taking them this long to repair!)
But though the road has been frustratingly long and bumpy, and though right now it feels like we'll never reach the ending destination where we finally get to be together, the truth is we are getting closer each day and one day, hopefully sooner than later, we will get the blessings out of the trials we're facing now.
Phil is already one of the greatest blessings of my life. I am thankful every single day that Heavenly Father lead us to each other.
Tonight, missing him very much during this time apart, I had a strange desire to Google him and see if anything came up. What I found made that already 3 sizes bigger heart of mine grow 3 MORE sizes with gratitude for the wonderful man that has come into my life and filled my eyes with tears. Its a simple thing, but it demonstrates clearly the generous, kind and loving heart that has captured my own.
Phil did some volunteer work this month with an organization that gives gifts to children who would otherwise have no Christmas. There was a story about it posted and I'll copy the link into this blog below the picture. I've already been feeling that I need to reach out this Christmas season and do service for others to help keep me from becoming to absorbed in my own troubles and woes. Phil's example makes me even more excited to find those opportunities and get going! Thank you, Phil, for being such an amazing man and for loving me...I love you! XOXOXOXOX
2 comments:
Wow, that is so awesome about James and Phil. There really is so much out there to be grateful for. Thanks for sharing! It made me feel those "warm fuzzies" too. :)
That is so great about James, and Phil sounds great! I am sorry to hear about your hard times. My prayers are with you. I hope your holidays only get brighter!
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