Nanny Poppins

Happy 25th Birthday Adam

2012-01-09T07:14:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to my angel Adam...Love and miss you everyday XOXOXOX

Favorite Things....At The Moment

2011-12-13T14:00:00.005-05:00

BREAKING DAWN: Part 1

Thus far I've been completely disappointed by the Twilight movies....until now that is. Breaking Dawn Part 1 was in my opinion fantastic! I love the books and this was the first time I felt like they really followed the book and captured the essence of what the book is supposed to be and feel like. Most surprisingly was that Phil really liked it to. We saw it twice in the theater and I can't wait for it to be out on DVD! I've been listening to the soundtrack and score a lot lately and I love it!

Another movie I can't wait for DVD is In Time. Phil and I saw this on a whim but I was completely taken by surprise with it and kept thinking about it days later. A very interesting movie that I'd love to see again.

HUNGER GAMES MOVIE

I can't wait to see this...I get goosebumps just from the trailer!

BOOKS:

Currently I haven't been reading much new stuff...just too busy with the holidays. But I have been making good use of my audio books on my ipod. Recently I've relistened to The Hunger Games Trilogy (excitement sparked by the trailer previously shared!) and The Time Traveler's Wife, one of my all time favorite books.

I've been going to Curves the last few weeks on a trial membership and think I'm going to join in the new year. I really enjoy the convenience of it...just run in and get a full workout in 30 minutes then back out the door again. Plus its right by our house.

In exercising and eating healthy, Phil and I have cut out one of our favorite things....Dill Pickle flavored potato chips. But we've found a healthier option....Dill Pickle popcorn seasoning! Our new favorite snack...air popper popcorn and this amazing stuff! Don't even miss chips now!

While eating our popcorn, Phil and I have been sucked into a One Tree Hill marathon! This was one of my favorite shows before we got married and now I've hooked Phil into too...Mwahahaha

MUSIC:

My music favorites currently include the Breaking Dawn soundtracks, Faber Drive, Marianas Trench, Sugarcult and the song Secrets by One Republic...LOVE IT!

Last but not least....I'm still obsessed with Settlers of Catan. Love playing this with my brother and sister-in-law :)

Ramblings

2011-08-02T14:51:00.002-04:00

Its been a very long time since I've blogged and I think its time I get back to it. There's so much to report that its really too much to say so instead of giving a full blown back story of the last 8 months, I will simply post a few random ramblings...not very informative I suppose but maybe entertaining at least haha And hopefully will be the start of my return to the blog world...

1. Last night Phil and I watched Batman: The Dark Knight. All night I had crazy nightmares about the Joker that freaked me out to the point that when I got up to use the restroom at about 4 am, I was actually a little scared to return to bed because I had a horrible thought that what if the Joker came in, killed Phil and took his place in bed while I was out of the room? Moral of the story....I probably shouldn't watch scary movies before bed...and when I'm tired, I'm really out of touch with reality haha

2. We're doing a bunch of work on our house at the moment....lots of painting and sanding and updating things...I feel very HGTV

3. Phil and I have been making efforts to eat healthier and get to the gym regularly...I love jogging and weight lifting (just not very good at it yet) and best of all is relaxing in the hot tub with my sweetie after a long workout :)

4. Going up to the trailer next weekend...its Alishea's 17th birthday and our one year anniversary of when Phil proposed to me :) Can't believe its been that long!

5. The baby I nanny is almost 1 year old and is into that fun phase where she's almost about to walk, is eating solid foods and really starting to understand the world around her.....soooo much fun!

6. Much as I'm loving being in Canada and being with Phil every day, I'm really feeling isolated from family and friends...miss everyone in the states :(

7. Apparently my old job has gone through at least 5 replacements since I left in Feb....hmm, guess now they're realizing just how much of the bomb diggity I was!

8. Every Saturday morning for about a month, I would get up and make cookies....we dubbed this event "Cookie Saturday" (I know...creative lol)...now we're trying to be more healthy....no more "Cookie Saturdays" :( So sad

9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was a seriously massive disappointment....Warner Bros completely butchered the canon....Boo on you WB!

10. Phil and I have almost been married a year....that is crazy! Time sure is flying by...so glad we're together now :)

Time Together, Time Apart, Always Waiting

2010-12-11T20:17:00.002-05:00

I just finished rereading The Time Traveler's Wife. The first time I read it was last year during my month of silence from Phil and I guess the time of year gave me the desire to reread it again...perhaps this will be a December reading tradition for me. At the time, I felt a stong connection to Clare and the way her character is waiting for Henry. From the very first paragraph Clare gives us I felt I knew just how she was feeling. There I was alone, waiting for Phil to come back, if he was coming back and completely unaware of when that might be.

Fast forward to now and I feel an even stronger connection to Clare then I did last year. Thankfully time traveling does NOT exsist and we're not plagued by it, but our life is full of ups and downs, togethers and not-togethers. When we're apart I mostly feel like I'm just coasting through, trying to hang on until we're together again, counting the days till we're back with each other. Some days I'm fine, sometimes I enjoy being alone and the freedoms it gives, as Clare describes, but mostly I just miss being with him and worry about him and wish it was time for us to be together.

Clare and Henry's is such a beautifully tragic tale. For them, the periods of separation and waiting and worrying never end...Clare spends her entire life waiting. Our blessing is that our separations will end and hopefully soon...hopefully the long weeks of waiting to be together will become long hours from morning till night as we go our separate working ways each day, like normal married people.

Santa Boxes Together

2010-12-04T14:50:00.002-05:00

Last year during our month of no talking I was going crazy. Being the pessimist I am my mind started to run amock...What if something happens to him? Would someone know to call me? Would anyone let me know?

As these horrible thoughts swirled in my brain I decided to Google Phil's name (I know, I know...stalkerish aren't I? LOL) to see if anything came up...like say an accident news report or an obituary...My hope was the lack of anything would help calm me down...but I did find something.

There was a news report but it wasn't anything bad...it was an article about how Phil had volunteered as a driver, delivering Santa boxes to children in need. As I read the article I (being me) started crying. I was so happy to see that he was not only okay, but doing service for others. What a wonderful man I'd found! I also felt terrible that I'd been wallowing and depressed and imagining the worst while he was using our time apart to do something for others. It brought such peace to my heart at a time I needed it so much.

This year, one of the things I was most looking forward to was getting the chance to do this awesome service WITH Phil! His participation in it had meant so much to me last year. This year we could share it together. Last weekend I got to help deliver Santa boxes with Phil and Alishea. It was so fun and was so nice seeing the excited looks on those little kids faces when they saw the boxes we were bringing. Most of all I loved doing something to help others with the people who matter most to me. Great day!

The Perfect Thanksgiving!

2010-11-26T12:27:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the perfect Thanksgiving! Wednesday night I drove up to James and Martha's house and Phil, Abrianna and Chloe drove down to meet me. We spent Thursday with them. It was so nice spend the morning sleeping in with my husband, then cooking all day with Martha and listening to the kids run around the house so happy and having Phil there beside me all day. The meal was wonderful and it was so much fun to be with family. I haven't had a family Thanksgiving since before I moved to NY! That made it all the more special.

After dinner we drove back to Phil's house in Canada where I'll be spending the next few days. Last night Phil and I were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie and it was so nice and relaxing and all I could think about was the same night last year and what a massive difference a year can make.

Last Thanksgiving came just a few weeks after we found out Phil's divorce was delayed and he would have to refile. We'd been talking to each other a long time, but had been advised by our bishop's not to meet in person until after the divorce was completely final. When things got delayed, I started having the feeling we shouldn't be talking until everything was once again filed and out of Phil's hands. The night before Thanksgiving we talked about it and prayed about it. Thanksgiving night we decided we would stop talking to each other completely until the divorce was refiled...and we weren't sure how long that might be. When we hung up Skype that night I cried and cried and cried. The next month without having Phil to talk to each day was one of the hardest months of my life. So many fears, so many doubts and so much lonliness during a time of year that is usually my very favorite. I remember hoping that all would work out and that by the holidays the next year, we'd be able to spend them together.

I wish now that I could go back to Amanda 2009 and tell her that everything was going to be okay...that next years Thanksgiving would be nothing but happy smiles...that next Thanksgiving night she'd be falling asleep in Phil's arms instead of crying herself to sleep alone. I mentioned this to Phil and he told me I'd never believe myself...he's probably right haha, but still, it would have been nice to have some real hope in my heart to combat all the doubts...but I guess it was our love that gave me hope back then.

Applying all this thoughtfulness to our current situation...I wonder what Amanda 2011 would have to say to me now if she came back in time with a message. Hopefully she'd tell me that by next Thanksgiving I'll be living in Canada with Phil and that we won't have to say goodbye again after the holiday weekend is over. Looking forward to the future, it seems so very far away. I remember how very far away meeting Phil in person seemed while we were waiting for it. But now here we are, married! Where will we be a year from now?

Probably most important to me about all this...by looking back to last year and remember how hard it was and how much it broke me inside to have to let Phil go for that month and just hope and pray that he'd come back to me, it helps me to keep the now in better perspective and to be so much more grateful for all that we're blessed with. Its so hard now being apart, but we are so blessed to have each other, to be sealed for eternity, to have the technological means to talk to and see each other each day, even from different countries, to have the means and ability to travel to see it each other regularly and to know without a doubt how very much we love each other. Being apart is hard...but we have been through SOOOOO much worse...we've been through it, we've survived it and we've fallen more in love because of it and remembering the hard stuff makes me so thankful for what we have now and makes the trials we're now facing seem a lot more manageable.

I have so much to be thankful for!

My wonderful loving husband who makes my life special every day
Our temple marriage and our family friends that got to be there to share it with us
Our family who loves us
3 beautiful amazing girls
James and Martha living so close now
Our wonderful wards
Our great friends
Our jobs that provide for our needs
Our immigration papers...slowly but surely coming together
Our house and all our temporal blessings
The gospel and its presence in our lives each day
Our Savior and his incredible love for us
For The Atonement and its healing affects in our lives
For our Heavenly Father who loves us and brought us to each other

We are so very blessed!!!

Pretty much the best Christmas song ever HAHA

2010-11-24T01:09:00.001-05:00

Home Remedies

2010-11-18T10:05:00.003-05:00

I'm not a fan of going to the doctor...not because I have anxiety about doctors, but because I have anxiety about the bills. Due to the nature of my work I've never had decent health insurance and have even been completely screwed over by a fraudulent insurance company. Because of lousy coverage, simple illnesses end up costing me a lot of money.

Luckily I don't get sick often and rarely is it enough to need a doctor, but there are a couple exceptions. The 2 biggies working with kids are pink eye and strep throat.

A couple years ago I got pink eye, went off to the doctors, and $150 later I was back home with a perscription. The perscription worked and I got better, no problem...except I was $150 dollars poorer. Not cool!

A year later I got pink eye again, this time I didn't want to part with another $150 so I started doing some searching online. I found a lot of home remedy ideas. Some of them, like rinsing your eye with lemon juice or honey and water, seemed just plain stupid. Maybe the really work but I wasn't keen on dropping citric acid into my eyes so I kept reading. I came across one that I felt confident couldn't hurt to try. Saline solution.

According to the website, using saline contact solution as eye drops will clear up pink eye. Since contact solution gets in your eyes all the time when you wear the contacts you've just rinsed with them, I decided it was a safe option. I started dropping saline solution in my eyes several times through the day and just as quickly as the antibiotics from doctor had done it, my pink eyes started to clear up. Within a few days it was totally gone. Awesome!!! One bottle of saline solution: around $6-10...an easy home remedy for pink eye...priceless! :)

I was thrilled! But what about other home remedy ideas? The next time it crossed my mind was during a visit to Canada when I got a UTI - miserable! I'd had one before after a kidney stone (even MORE miserable!) so I knew what it was. I was in Canada and not sure how to even go about seeing a doctor and getting a perscription in a foreign country, let alone how much it would cost me! UGH! So I turned back to the internet...Once again I found lots of suggestions and a lot of them seemed perfectly easy. The two I decided to give a try....drink lots of cranberry juice and water mixed with baking soda. Phil ran out and got me a giant container of cranberry juice and I started mixing glasses of baking soda and water.

I drank and drank and drank and again, within a few days I was back to normal. Yay! I was becoming a BIG fan of home remedies!

My most recent illness...the dreaded strep throat, courtesy of the little girl I nanny. I did a search online but didn't find much. Most things I read said that there were the potential for a lot of complications and worse things to come if left untreated....hmm, didn't sound like something I should risk on home remedies, especially as what was being suggested didn't sound like anything more than preventative stuff or pain control. So I went to the doctor...$150 more...gross. But I got better and all was back to normal.

Until yesterday, when I woke up with a sore throat again. Not a big deal I figured because I get sore throats a lot in the fall and winter. But it didn't go away all day. My tonsils are swollen and my throat is red...no white yet and not as painful but ugh...what I'm getting strep again? My other nanny kiddos class had another case of strep this week so what if I've been exposed again? So totally uncool! And right before Thanksgiving and my trip to Canada...NO!

Since things were in early stages I decided to go back to online remedies and try to stop this in its tracks...Drinking tons of OJ, gargling salt water, taking echinaesea and zinc...all that jazz. But there was another couple suggestions I hadn't tried before. Yogurt apparently could help so I've had some of that, the other was to gargle with apple cider vinegar

Ewww, that sounds unpleasant. But it doesn't sound too hazardous either so I decided to try. BIG mistake!

Seriously, that was one of the worst things I ever tasted...I immediately started gagging and it took about 10 minutes of mouth rinsing and drinking juice to get the flavor to go away so I didn't feel like throwing up anymore. So SOOOO gross!

Maybe it would really work...but I can NOT handle it...too gross for me! So I'll just keep to the vitamin c, zinc and yogurt and hope for the best!

How do you know if its love?

2010-11-15T12:21:00.004-05:00

If you know me, you know I love Harry Potter...well maybe love is a bit of an understatement! Previous to my obsession with my wonderful husband, my obsession was the boy wizard. I love the books, love the movies, love to discuss the canon to death! Love fan art, and wizard rock, and Pottercast, and fan conventions...I love it all! As I've "grown up" the obsession has had to dwindle of course but the love is still very much there.

The point...Part 1 of the Deathly Hallows movie opens this Friday! The final book...the final movie (well the first half anyway) and where will I be this Friday at midnight...not watching Harry Potter.

No midnight showing for me...won't even be seeing the movie on Friday. Why?

See I have this husband now, who I love very much and I really want to see it with him! So much so in fact that I made him listen to all 7 books so he'd be Potter "worthy" to watch this film with me (haha) and being a wonderful, loving and supportive husband he did just that. He's listened to them and really liked them. We've watched other HP movies together and he even took me to the Harry Potter movie exhibit in Toronto while we were dating. One of the best things about Phil is how he loves that I'm a nerd. He thinks the fact that I have a robe and a wand and go to conventions and play video games is one of the best things about me.

And so I will be waiting an extra week until we're together for Thanksgiving to see Deathly Hallows with my Phil. As my friend Kate put it last night..."Now that's love!"

Yes...Yes it is!

Focusing on the Happy

2010-11-05T10:02:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was hard (as per my depressing blog entry) and today is hard too...basically every day is hard. Some I handle better than others...these last few haven't been in that category. I read an entry on a friends blog yesterday discussing all the "What if" questions that we beat ourselves up with. I have a lot of them:

What if Phil dies?

What if Phil leaves me?

What if I'm never good enough?

What if I'm always fat?

What if I get pregnant before I'm in Canada?

What if when the time is right we can't get pregnant at all?

What if there's a complication and immigration takes even longer than it already is?

What if my employers find a new nanny before I'm ready to go?

What if I never see that money that's owed to me?

What if I moved in with James and Martha to be closer to Phil now? Would the job stuff work out or would it be a huge mistake?

What if I'm a terrible wife and mother?

The list of negative "What ifs" goes on and on and can drive a person completely insane. So yesterday as I considered these and many others I also started to consider positive "What ifs":

What if Phil and I had never found each other?

What if I'd settled for someone or something else that could never be as perfect for me as he is?

What if I'd gotten the job in California? Would Phil and I have made it?

What if we were still waiting on the divorce? How much better the waiting is now!

What if we hadn't been able to be married in the temple?

What if I didn't have a job at all?

What if we had to spend another Christmas apart?

So many things could be so much worse and we are so blessed that they're not! We're so blessed to have each other, to have an eternal marriage, to have jobs, to have Phil's 3 beautiful girls...so many blessings. Its not always easy, but I'm trying to focus on happy things.

The most happy thing of all is my wonderful husband. Last night after feeling miserable and depressed all day long my sweet Phil did the very best thing he could while we're apart...he got me talking and he listened. I was able to pour out all the negative emotions that had been tormenting me all day long and know that the ears that were listening love and care about me and probably feel the same things I'm feeling. I asked him in the end how he was able to face it all without letting it bog him down the way it does me. He told me that you just have to rid your mind of the negative thoughts and fill it up with positive ones. You can't sit and stew over the bad things we can't change, the trials we can't avoid...it is what it is and obsessing won't change it. You just have to be positive, be grateful for what you have and look forward. Easier said than done for someone like me who focuses on the bad way too much to be healthy...but good sound advice. I'm so grateful to have such a loving wonderful man who listens when I need it, offers good counsel, is a worthy priesthood holder and loves me so very much.

After I vented Phil managed to do something miraculous...he cheered me up. As we talked about other things he had me smiling and laughing and feeling much lighter than I had all day long. It was only a short time of the day we got to spend together but he made it really count and really made a difference to end my day on a good note...I am so grateful for Phil. Even though we can't be together now, he is the most wonderful blessing and the most loving husband. I love you baby!

Rain & Hunger

2010-11-04T09:25:00.005-04:00

Have you ever seen the movie Men in Black 2? One of the characters discovers she is from another planet and that she controls the weather with her mood. Whenever she's sad it rains, but her whole life she just thought the rain made her sad rather than her sadness making it rain.

I feel like that...I always feel so gloomy inside when the weather is dark and rainy. Yesterday was great, sunny and cool...a perfect fall day. I got lots done and felt great. This morning when my alarm went off all I wanted was to stay in bed, and when it was time to tell Phil goodbye, turn off Skype and head to work it nearly broke my heart to leave him. I always miss him, I always wish we were together, but sometimes the want becomes a need...its physically painful to be apart from him and I miss him with every bit of my heart and soul. Why am I married but still so painfully alone all the time...

I felt that way this morning and have no idea why. When I did finally go to work I walked out of my room and looked out the window to find that it was dark and gloomy and rainy outside. Its like my body knew it before my mind did. I guess everything just seems more hopeless in the dark and rain. Every sadness seems magnified somehow. I find it interesting how much weather can affect me. It would probably be an interesting psycological phenomenon to study.

Changing subjects...This week I finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy. Crazy, intense and thought provoking books. Aubrey pointed me in their direction and as I heard other people talking about them I got very interested and wanted to start reading them. I read the first book in just 2 days. They make you think a lot about all we take for granted, how government is run, whats right and what is wrong, war, media and all we as a society see as "entertainment". Its easy to judge the characters in the book, the country that is finding entertainment value in something so despicable and then you stop and think about how you're reading the same thing in the name of entertainment. Very interesting...

Homeless

2010-11-02T12:19:00.005-04:00

As I've gone to visit Canada over the past 7 months a lot of things have come as a surprise to me. While it doesn't always feel like another country because its right there and seems pretty much the same as the US I'll start to get comfortable and then WHAM! Something shows up that clearly doesn't belong in the life I'm used to and I'm reminded that I truly am in a completely different country. Some of these things are funny...

Ketchup chips of course came as a surprise to me...

Poutine is now one of my favorite comfort foods...

And it struck me as very bizarre to discover there's a pizza place called "Pizza Pizza" that has nothing what so ever to do with Little Ceasars (and odder still...they have those too!)

Some things frankly just frightened me, like the demon black squirrels (just not natural, I'm telling you...squirrels are grey...maybe brown...but not black! Demons I tell you, DEMONS!) Not sure if they are hiding in some parts of the US but I'd never seen one until I was in Canada and it really shocked me!

Other things aren't so much funny as just plain annoying. Trying to adjust to kilometers vs. miles or liters vs. gallons is a real pain in the butt. I still get a little twinge of shock when I'm driving down the freeway and the sign says 100 instead of 60 or when I go to the gas pump and the price is a dollar something instead of 3 something (and thanks to liters being less than gallons, it still costs more in Canada! LOL)

I discoverd another severe annoyance last time I was in Canada. I've been making Lipton rice my entire life. You throw it in the pot, add some water and butter, boil uncovered a few minutes and let it sit to absorb all the water...boom, rice! Not so in Canada...

I was making my famous enchiladas for Phil for the first time and like I always do, I planned to serve it with Lipton Spanish rice. I was thrilled to see he already had a pack in his cupboard. I went to making it like I always do, but after about 10 minutes of cooking it still looked exactly as it had when I put everything in the pan. Baffled I asked Phil about it. He grabbed the package I'd tossed in the trash and informed me that I was supposed to cover it for 20 minutes....Cover it? 20 Minutes? What was he talking about???

"You've got to read the directions baby" he said and though he didn't mean anything by it I just about burst into tears feeling like a total idiot. It was just rice, nothing of any importance in life...but why one Earth would I read the directions for something I've been cooking perfectly for years? That's just stupid. And that's what I told him, to which he replied something about how I'm in a whole different country and things aren't the same here.

Over the weekend I'd already had other mishaps...putting things in the wrong trash bins, breaking dishes, using the washer at the wrong time of day...the bottom line is, not only am I having to adjust to a whole new country, I'm having to adjust to a whole new household. A household that isn't even really mine yet despite being married to the guy that owns it. It was a silly epiphany being brought on by a package of rice, but in that moment it just all hit me. I'm homeless. I have NO WHERE in his country or mine where I really belong and feel comfortable in. In CT I live with my employers, and every nanny knows that you NEVER feel at home there. You're forever feeling weird and awkward about the dumbest things...grabbing a bowl of cereal, going to the kitchen for a glass of water, leaving to go out on Saturday using their car...no matter how welcoming the family is, its just not your house and you know it and you never feel 100% at home there.

I've been away from Utah so long that my parents house doesn't feel like home either...its there house now, and when I'm there (which isn't often at all) I'm a guest now. Though I grew up there, it no longer feels like home to me anymore...I've grown up to much and lived away from there too long. That's normal and part of life but just one more place that's not home.

And then there's Phil's house...Phil's home...not our home...Phil's home. I don't live there yet. When I'm there, I'm a guest. I'm surrounded by stuff that isn't mine. Surrounded by rooms I'm not really familiar with yet. I can't hardly even get the tv going without assistance. Every move I make I feel like I'm intruding or wondering if I'm doing something wrong. And its all the more awful because the one person in the whole world who's opinion of me really truly matters is Phil's. I hate feeling stupid in front of him. I hate when he sees my faults and my insecurities and my mistakes. And standing in his kitchen that night, feeling stupid about rice all I wanted to do was run away and hide somewhere safe...and I realized no such place exsists for me. I went downstairs, locked myself in the bathroom and just started crying. It seems like my whole life is trying to be perfect for people and I'm so terribly bad at it. And there's no where to hide and just be imperfect, clutsy, stupid me where no one else can see.

Phil of course noticed my absense and came down to find me. I didn't know what to do or say. The whole emotional thing was stupid in and of itself, crying over rice. But it was so much more than rice and how could I explain that right. I came out of the bathroom and Phil was sitting on the couch. I crawled right up in to his arms, layed my head on his chest and trying to control the tears long enough to try to make him understand. I don't think I managed very well but he held me anyway.

Eventually I was fine and got dinner finished (though the dumb rice was beyond repair) but it didn't change the fact that I still feel very much homeless. In fact, the only place I do feel safe and like I belong is in Phil's arms and despite my hearts true desire, I can't spend my whole life there.

I hope someday soon Phil's house will become my house and that someday after that, I'll begin to really feel like its my home too. Homeless till then...

And now...back to me

2010-11-02T12:13:00.002-04:00

As my relationship with Phil began, developed, and eventually lead to our marriage, this blog went from being just me and my random thoughts to being all about us and the wonderfulness that is having Phil in my life.

Now that we're married, I decided to make us a brand new blog for our relationship and our family. You can visit it here:

http://macdonald123.blogspot.com/

When I originally started this Nanny Poppins blog, it was just for me and my thoughts and I've decided its time to go back to that. I find it very theraputic to get my thoughts out into the world, even if no one is reading it, its just nice to put them out there...sometimes it helps get them out of my head or helps me deal with them or face them or share them when they're wonderful. Whatever the case may be, I liked having that space that was just for me, where I could be a little whiny or self absorbed or go on and on about some silly thought that I don't want to bore a real breathing person with....so that's what this will be again...

And now...back to me!

Angel Anniversary

2010-10-19T09:25:00.002-04:00

Its been 15 years today since my little Adam left us to return to our Heavenly Father following injuries he sustained in a car accident.

Just a few days ago, it was the one year mark of when my dear friend Joanne lost her battle to cancer and also returned to her loving Heavenly Father.

Two beautiful angels, whose presense in my life I am so very grateful for. Love and prayers to both our families and smiles up to our angels in heaven.

Choosing To Be Happy

2010-09-02T20:40:00.002-04:00

In general, I'd like to think that I strive to be a happy and positive person. Many times however I fail miserably and lately that has really been the case. Quite frankly, I'm surprised at this point that I still have my wonderful fiance because I'd have probably left myself by now!

Since Phil and I decided to get married, I've really allowed the stress and drama of planning the wedding overshadow the joy and excitement of marrying my sweetheart. Yes wedding planning is stressful but I've really become aware of just how much I've allowed the stress to overwhelm me when if I would simply choose to be happy and make the efforts involved in that choice, then the stress wouldn't affect me the way it has been.

The wedding is almost 2 weeks away and I want more than anything to enjoy this special time in my life. I'm sorry to my sweet mother, my wonderful friends and especially my sweet and wonderful husband-to-be for all the upset tears and complaints they've had to hear and witness over the last couple of months. I love you all and the fact that you've listened, counseled, supported and most importantly, stayed by my side is reason enough right there to be absolutely filled with joy!

Tonight, when faced with more negativity that I was not handling well, I knelt down and had a long talk with my Heavenly Father about the person I've let myself be lately and the person I want to be instead. After the prayer I started to really think about what actions make for a happier life. I started jotting them down and thought I'd like to reflect a bit on them here...

The way I see it, the key to being happy is to be as Christ-like as possible. The happiest people in this world I know are also the most Christ-like people I know. These wonderful individuals live righteous lives, go out of their way to support and serve others, they're always positive to those around them, lifting other up and never tearing others down. If I want to be a happier person I need to send more happiness out into the world. Give more compliments than criticisms, share more of the good things than the bad things with others, thank my Heavenly Father for my many MANY blessings rather than always focusing on the bad things I want fixed.

If I strive each day to be more Christ-like and to live my life in a way and treat others in a way that will please Him, then no matter what anyone else in my life says or does, I'll be able to keep smiling and know that I'm doing my very best and that I'm being the very best version of me I can be.

Tonight this is my wish and my prayer
XOXOXOXOX

Temple Weekend & Proposal: Take 2

2010-08-29T20:10:00.004-04:00

Last weekend was wonderful! I got to go to Canada for Phil's endowment at the Toronto Temple. Since my own endowment almost 2 years ago, I've waited and hoped and wished and prayed for the day I'd be in the temple with my eternal sweetheart and finally being there with him was spiritually and emotionally overwhelming in a wonderful way. I don't think I've ever felt the sort of joy and peace that I felt sitting with Phil in the Celestial Room. It was truly marvelous and I can't wait to be back there with him in 3 weeks being sealed for time and all eternity!

Before the session, Phil and I took a walk around the temple grounds with Rebecca (one of the wonderful sister missionaries who taught Phil the gospel) and Alishea. We took pictures.....

Phil and I stopped to dance.....no one else could hear the music, but I assure you it was there hehe

And then, as I sat down on the edge of one of the fountains after a few more pictures, Phil announced that he had something he needed to do...for the second time he got down on one knee and this time when he reached in his pocket he pulled out a small red velvet box with my REAL ring inside! Yay! No tears this time (well, mostly anyway!) but big BIG smiles as Phil proposed to me a second time. I of course accepted again!

And now the wedding is less than 3 weeks away! The invitations have been sent out (mostly! LOL) and my life (and my mom's) are in full on wedding planning crazy mode. Work is NOT making this process an easy one. I really need summer to end and for my nanny kids to get their little behinds back in school to give me a bit of planning time each day that doesn't take place at midnight! But crazy as it all is, things are starting to fall into place. I'm stressed to breaking point, but in 3 weeks it will be over. That is both good and sad all at the same time. I'm so anxious for the day to be here and to finally be Mrs. MacDonald and to know that Phil is mine for eternity. But at the same time, it will be sad when that special day is over...but the good news is we have a whole wonderful life in mortality and then a wonderful eternity together so I guess the wedding day is just the first beautiful step on a much MUCH better journey to come! The next time I go to Canada we're getting MARRIED! Its kind of crazy to wrap my head around! Now I just need to deal with crossing the border! Anyone out there reading this...say a prayer for me, my biggest fear at this point is being denied access into the country 2 days before the wedding! YIKES!!!!!!

To everyone travelling to share this special day with us, your efforts are very VERY appreciated! We love you all! Can't wait to see you...just 3 weeks away!!!!

Lots of love!
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
The Soon To Be Mrs. MacDonald!!!!!

Surprisingly Surprised!!!!

2010-08-18T22:01:00.010-04:00

Phil and I decided very early on that we planned to marry each other someday. We just knew it would happen. It may sound stupid or like some made believe fairytale, but from the very beginning we sensed something about each other and knew in our hearts that we'd found "the one". Plenty of friends and family members probably thought we were nuts...but this is the really fun part where we get to say "told ya so!" LOL (Okay maybe not....but still...nice to be right for a change! haha)

Anyway, back to the story... Phil and I knew we'd get married someday and finally the day came that we decided it was time. We quietly began the wedding plans, setting a date, location, etc. and telling only our closest family and friends. We didn't want to go "public" with our engagement until it was official. I wanted a real proposal and Phil wanted the ring on my finger. So we arranged to get the ring.

However, my ring was being shipped from Utah and was unexpectedly held up at customs, and just hours before I hopped on the bus to Canada we found out it wouldn't make it until after I was back in CT :( I was very very bummed.

Given that there would be no ring to propose with, I figured I wouldn't get my real proposal for a few more weeks and that we'd have to just go ahead and go public without a ring and without a fun story to tell people. Phil picked me up at the bus terminal as usual early on Saturday morning. Usually we just head straight back to his house, but this time he took me to a park. It was only about 7:30 in the morning so there really wasn't anyone there and the park was beautiful. We started walking around and I was very curious as to why he'd made the detour. I wondered if he had planned the proposal and decided to go ahead with it, even without the ring. We walked around the park, took pictures, kissed...then we got back in his truck and left...no proposal.

We ended up grabbing breakfast and stopping at a second park...once again, no proposal.

At this point all thought of a proposal that weekend left my mind. Of course, Phil is a guy, and as part of his guy DNA he isn't going to go to the effort to do some grand romantic thing if he doesn't have to right? The ring wasn't there so why on earth would he propose? I resigned myself to the fact that it wouldn't be for a few more weeks and to just enjoy the weekend together without being on edge wondering for the millionth time if "this is it!" or not.

We picked up his girls and took the 3 hour drive out to Phil's mom's trailer. The camp area where the trailer is was so beautiful and their spot was right on a gorgeous lake. When we first arrived, Phil and I walked down to the little wooden dock to look out at the water. We took some pictures and sat in chairs holding hands and just relaxing. It was so nice. Then we spent some time with his mom and took a nap before dinner. After a nice dinner and birthday dessert for Phil's daughter and brother who had both had birthdays that week, Phil's mom took the kids to one of the camp site activities.

After cleaning up a bit I walked down to the dock again with my camera to take some sunset sky pictures. Phil put the cake away and then walked down to join me. He asked me for the camera and I gave it to him. He told me to stand near the edge of the dock and he took my picture. Then he fiddled with it for a few mintues and set it up on a small table to take a timed picture of the two of us together....or so I thought.

After hitting the button on the camera Phil rushed over to me but instead of standing next to me and posing for the photo he wrapped his arms around me and started kissing me. "Aww" I thought, "a kissing picture, how romantic!" But after a few more seconds, I realized I hadn't heard the "click" of the camera indicating that the picture had been taken. I was about to look over at the camera and say something about it when at that exact moment Phil pulled back from me a bit, looked me in the eyes and went down on one knee! It all clicked into realization at once...this WAS it! Phil was proposing! And the camera hadn't "clicked" because he wasn't setting it up to take a photo, he'd set it up to take a video of our proposal so we'd always have it to remember the moment that he knew meant the world to me! My baby is so romantic!

I immediately started crying before he'd even said a word. He then said the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me and asked for the priviledge of being my husband. He then reached in his back pocket and for just a tiny moment I thought maybe my ring had arrived afterall...but then the next moment I was laughing and of course still crying tears of extreme joy, as he slipped a tiny pink hair elastic onto my ring finger.

There was no diamond ring but it was definitely the most wonderful moment of my life! The ring would come later...but this man would be mine forever! He loves me! And now, we were officially engaged! Through the laughter and the tears and the overwhelming emotion I couldn't even get a word out. Phil finally said "Is that a yes?" and through more laughter I nodded, somehow got out the word "yes" and then he was holding me again and kissing me again and I was happier than I've ever been. And the whole thing was all the more impressive because he actually surprised me! I wanted to be surprised and I thought since we'd already made the decision and started planning that there was no way he'd be able to surprise me with a proposal. He did it! My future husband is amazing! :)

Just moments later, Phil's mom came rushing down to the dock, bummed out that she'd missed seeing him on his knee! Haha We reenacted the moment for her and had her take a few pictures for us.

After that, Phil took me out on a romantic little boat ride around the lake.

What a perfect proposal! Phil, I love you soooooo much! Thank you for making all my dreams come true! You are my soul mate in every way, I love you darling! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

As of right now, our wedding is just ONE MONTH AWAY! It's so crazy to think that in just one month I'll be Mrs. MacDonald! It is coming so soon but still it feels it just can't come fast enough! I can't wait!

Summer Update!

2010-07-30T22:49:00.002-04:00

Wow, it has been one crazy summer so far! After my sweetheart came to visit me for my birthday in NYC in June, my employers whisked me away to Bald Head Island in North Carolina for a two week "vacation" where I would work for them pretty much the whole time...but in all fairness, when I say work, what I really mean is sit by the pool or lay on the beach for 2 weeks straight so it was pretty awesome. The island was amazing! I climbed to the top of the lighthouse, played in the waves, relaxed in the hammock, read some good books, ate some great sea food and drove around for 2 weeks in a golf cart!

After we got back (and pretty much right after I finished unpacking all 5 of us in the house!) I repacked my bags, rented a car and drove up to Palmyra NY to spend the weekend with my wonderful Phil and his wonderful daughter, Abrianna! We went camping (if you can call sleeping on a mattress in the back of the truck camping Haha) and visited the sites in Palmyra. We went to the Grandin printing press where the Book of Mormon was first published and attending the Hill Cumorah Pageant (amazing!) on Saturday. On Sunday we visited the Palmyra Temple grounds, the Joseph Smith Farm, the Hill Cumorah Visitors Center and climbed the Hill Cumorah up to the top (not that far but in wicked heat and humidity it was a bit challenging!) We also spent some very special moments in the Sacred Grove where we read the story of Joseph Smith's first vision from the scriptures. Such a special day! Leaving of course was horrible, awful, no good, very bad as usual. I'm never able to leave Phil or watch Phil leave me without crying...I guess that's probably a good thing right? At least it means I love him with all my heart and soul! :)

Since returning from my 2 fun filled vacations, I've been working working working like crazy. Kids home from school, 12-14 hour work days....I am one tired nanny! Only one month of summer left though....there is light at the end of the Nanny Summer Tunnel!

Next weekend I'll be back up to Canada for another visit and can't wait! I miss Phil sooooo much when we're apart, but finally being back in each other's arms is the absolute best! See you next week my love XOXOXOX

PS - For those of you who follow my blog, check out what I found at the grocery store in Connecticut this week....apparently someone watched my videos! Can't stop laughing! Hahahaha

Best Birthday Ever!!!

2010-06-25T21:24:00.010-04:00

This past weekend was my 28th birthday and I feel its definitely safe to say it was my very best birthday ever! That is because I had the wonderful priviledge of spending it with the love of my life!

Phil drove down from Canada late Thursday night. On Friday we spent the day with the kids I nanny, playing Rock Band, going to the park and playing in the pool. We also got to visit a local farm to go strawberry picking which was a lot of fun! I'm pretty sure the kids like him way more than they like me! Haha

Friday evening we spent some time hanging out around town then ordered in some Chinese and cuddled up watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

(Little side note...I've now completely converted Phil to being a Potterhead! LOVE IT! He says that my dorkiness is one of the reasons he fell in love with me....good thing! I love that he lets me be a dork and joins me in all my random dorkiness! He's so perfect for me!)

At 12:00 am Saturday morning an alarm went off on Phil's phone to remind him to be the first to wish me Happy Birthday! This was sweet and significant because last year we'd only known each other for a few weeks, but on my 27th birthday, when we couldn't be together, Phil called me at 12:01 and sang Happy Birthday to me. It meant so much to me. Previously on my 26th birthday, the guy I was dating at the time didn't do anything for my birthday but send a text at around 4 in the afternoon and we'd been together for several months. Here I'd only known Phil a couple weeks and he sent me a wonderful gift and made sure he wished me happy birthday as soon as it arrived. I've told him since how much that meant to me. It was one of those early signs that told me this guy was for real. That he was really that interested in me and really that sweet and wonderful. Over the past year he's definitely proved that many times over, but my birthday last year was that first really big signal to me that I'd found an amazing guy! It was so great being with him this year and knowing that a year previously we were brand new and had no idea when we'd finally be together, but I remember at the time hoping that by my next birthday he would be there and I'm so grateful he was!

Our plan was to get up really early the next day and head into the city...that didn't exactly happen as sleep is way too awesome! We did get into the city by about 10 so that was pretty good.

I took Phil to my favorite bagel place for breakfast then we headed down to Battery Park to catch the ferry over to Liberty Island. The wait was over an hour but with Phil there to share the line with it didn't bother me at all.

We spent the afternoon learning all about Lady Liberty and taking pictures there. Then we headed over to Ellis Island which was really interesting for several reasons. 1) Phil is very interested in geneology and has even gotten me more interested in it as well 2) As Phil and I are becoming more serious the concept of immigration has been on our minds. Eventually one of us will be hopping the border...I'm glad when that time comes, no matter how much of a pain it is, it won't be as bad as what those poor immigrants had to face!!!

After that we headed back over to Manhattan (with very red, sun-burned faces!) and went uptown. I took Phil to Serendipity for birthday dessert and showed him Dylan's Candy Bar (one of my fav NYC stores! Its like a mini Willie Wonka factory in there!)

Then we headed into Central Park where Phil made my birthday wish come true and took me on my very first romantic carriage ride! It was so great after a fun and exhausting day of walking and sun to just sit back with my head on the shoulder of my dream guy and enjoying the beauty of Central Park. Could not ask for a better birthday gift than that!

When our carriage ride ended we walked through the park to the west side so I could show Phil the temple. I can't wait till we can go inside the temple together, especially the Manhattan Temple which is so special to me.

To finish off the night we headed to Times Square where I finally got my WWII Sailor/Nurse kiss reenactment picture! I swear every nanny I know out here has one of these pics but I've never gotten one. Phil really does make all my dreams come true! He makes me so very happy!

After that we hit the movie theater to see Prince of Persia (not a bad movie!)
then we faced the hour long train ride home very very sleepy (I in fact did fall asleep! LOL)

On Sunday we went to church and then spent the evening with my employers who had a big Father's Day cook out. Then came rotten Monday and Phil had to head back to Canada :( I always hate saying goodbye so much but I'm so very happy for the time we got to spend together. I love you sweetheart!!! Thanks for making my birthday so wonderful! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

I'm A Real Hufflepuff Now Baby! (And a great big Harry Potter dork! Haha)

2010-06-22T21:58:00.004-04:00

I have two great weekends to report on because I've let my blog get rather behind! I'll split them into 2 separate posts :) The first was 3 weekends ago when I went up to Canada and got to spend the weekend with Phil and his daughter Abrianna. It was a short trip (just Saturday morning to Sunday night) but we sure packed a lot of fun into the time we had! On Saturday after they picked me up at bus we spent some time with Phil's brother and sister-in-law. We all went to a fun fair at the local school and had fun playing games and visiting the animals at the petting zoo (where we met a very bold billy goat and Phil's brother got friendly with a camel haha). Then that afternoon Phil made one of my dreams come true and took Abrianna and I to the Harry Potter exhibit currently stationed in Toronto! I've been dying to see this exhibit since I first heard about it! It started out in Chicago which I knew I couldn't go to but was still tempting. Then it was in Boston and I thought "Hey I could totally go up there!" But unfortunately that never ended up happening (mostly because no one around here is dorky enough to go with me! LOL) When I found out it was in Toronto I was THRILLED and so was Phil! He loves that I'm a dork and loves to make me happy so this was a total win/win! The exhibit was amazing! I was even sorted officially by the hat into HUFFLEPUFF! Yay! When we got home we ended up having a massive jump-a-thon on the trampoline and had a blast!

That night we all soaked our achy feet from walking all day long and watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix together. The next day we went to church and spent the afternoon with the missionaries. Then before it was time to head to the bus station we had yet another jump-a-thon and took a little nature walk near Phil's house. It was a great Sunday! Up until the part where I had to go home...that part is never great :(

Pastry Chef Amanda Gets Brave!

2010-06-01T20:58:00.004-04:00

For some reason, I've recently become excited about the idea of cake decorating. I love watching Ace of Cakes and seeing all the awesome things they come up with as well as other cake shows on Food Network. I also love wedding cakes and seeing the different things brides come up with to go with their wedding themes. Since I've been working on improving my cooking skills lately, and particularly since I made the delicious cupcakes and buttercream from scratch a few months back, I've been wondering if I could decorate cakes.

At the craft store they have cake decorating classes and every time I'm in there buying crafts for the kids I take one of the fliers. I've been intending to sign up for months now, but the classes are always on weeknights during times I'm still working :(

So this past week I decided to start checking things out online. On Youtube I discovered a ton of cake decorating instructional videos (YAY Youtube!) and started watching and learning. Then it was off to the craft store to get a few of the basic tools.

Yesterday, because it was Memorial Day I had most of the day off and decided it was the perfect opportunity to make my first cake decorating attempt! Not wanting to completely overwhelm myself on the first go, I decided to use a box cake mix instead of making my own. I did however make the amazing from scratch buttercream!

I wanted to attempt a tiered cake for some reason (I probably shouldn't set my sights so high in the beginning! Probably should have started with a tiny little 6 inch round! LOL) but obviously I don't need mountains of cake in my house for just little me! So I went with the smallest layers (which still ends up being way more cake than I need for myself but oh well!)

I baked the cakes (yellow cake mix, my fav!). I leveled off the layers. I filled the layers with raspberry (YUM!). I made the buttercream. I colored the buttercream, I frosted both layers and let them set. I assembled the layers successfully with reinforcements. And finally, I decorated the whole thing! I did a patriotic theme for Memorial Day. The idea was that I thought I could share the cake with my employers who were having a bbq with a few friends....but the process took ALL DAY! By the time I was done it was about 10 pm! HAHA But I must say I was VERY pleased with the finished product! I think its pretty amazing for a first attempt! What do you think???

Tonight I froze the top layer and started in on the bottom layer. It tasted really good so that was awesome! Now I just need to figure out who to give the leftovers too because there is a TON of cake here!!!!!! Anyone around who wants a piece...come on over!!!!

XOXOXOXOX
Love To You All

Silly Bandz: Opinions?

2010-05-27T11:51:00.003-04:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20100527/us_time/08599199179700

Saw this article today and thought it might make an interesting blog rant Haha

So...I'm sure anyone with kids or who works with kids are familiar with these things. Basically, they're rubber band bracelets that when you remove them from your wrist you discover they're actually shaped like something.

Kids all over are obsessed with them at the moment. Remember pogs? Slap bracelets? Etc Etc...yeah, well this seems to be the latest.

Personally, my opinion of them is that they're just plain stupid. I mean, the shapes are cute and stuff, but really, what a waste of money and honestly, they look so stupid on kids wrists because they're all strange shaped and stuff. It looks like they're wearing colorful garbage around as pretend jewelry. I don't know, from day one that I saw them I was annoyed by them.

As a nanny, I've watched my kids become obsessed with them and as their collections have expanded and more and more of the bandz end up adding themselves to their wrists I cringe a little more. They're also very easily lost and it causes very dramatic tantrums. Just last week my little 6 year old had a fit before school because she couldn't find the blue dolphin bracelet, and let me tell you how fun it is to search a cluttered playroom for a rubber band!!!! Hello needle in a haystack!

But, my opinion of the trend aside, I do get how these kid trends catch on and really matter when you're young. Heck, trends matter just as much as adults don't they so really who am I to talk in terms of not following the crowd. In that regard I get it. When all your friends have them and are talking about them you want to fit in and join the conversation and have something brag worthy to bring to the table. If all anyone at school wants to do is trade bracelets, of course you'd want to be in on the game.

From a teacher's perspective though, these trends are a big pain in the butt. I was teaching during the massive upswing of Pokeman and Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and I can tell you that as a teacher there was nothing I hated more! The problem with fad trading items is that there's no ownership to each individual thing. The idea is to trade them. For a teacher this is a nightmare because what always happens is that during the day kids are making underground trade arrangements when teachers aren't looking and during free times like lunch and recess. That alone is annoying to a teacher because often this takes place during class times when the kids should clearly be doing something else. But even if its only happening during the free play time, what then happens is that you never know which item belongs to which child and it becomes an epic battle of "he said/she said".

"But Miss Willis, that Pokemon card is MINE! She took it from me!"

"NO! He's lying Miss Willis! He traded me at recess! Its mine now!"

You don't know who's is who's, you feel like everyone is lying. Sometimes kids trade then change their minds and try to convince the friend they traded with that they didn't really "mean" to trade the card they did. Sometimes no trades were made at all and kids would just steal from one another and claim there was a trade. Once I had a little boy lose his ENTIRE collection of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards (and those things are NOT cheap people!) and I had his parent in the class yelling at me because "someone" must have stolen them and what was I going to do about it? The truth is, there's nothing I could do about it! If the cards were stolen, how on earth could I prove the cards had originally been his when every kid in the class had a collection of some sort and nothing was labeled with names.

Yes, trading items and classrooms DO NOT MIX! Trust me people! If you can't label it with a name then DON'T SEND IT TO SCHOOL!!!

I'm sure all kids and many parents are mad when a school bans such an item. You feel like the children's fun and friendship and creativity is being squashed. That its all just fun and games and why can't the schools lighten up. Well, just think about it from the teachers perspective for a minute. If I were still teaching, these bracelets would DEFINITELY be banned from my classroom, just as I had to ban the trading cards. It may eliminate some fun, but trust me, the teachers do NOT need the added drama or stress!

Good News, Bad News, Heat & Snow!

2010-05-25T14:25:00.004-04:00

Good News:

My brother James was supposedly being sent to Korea with the military. We then got the news that he will instead be coming to be stationed at a base in upstate NY...just 5 or 6 hours away from me and only about 4 hours from Phil!!! GREAT WONDERFUL AWESOME NEWS!!!

Bad News:

I just heard from my mom that while he and family will be coming to NY, at some point he is going to be deployed to Afganistan...Lame lame, gross, yucky news! I am so grateful to the men and women who serve our country and I'm so proud of my brother for being among them, but selfishly, the idea of him being sent anywhere dangerous terrifies me :(

Heat:

Right now in CT it is so hot and humid that I feel like I'm going to melt and die! I can't sleep at night because its too hot and I have really bizarre dreams and wake up constantly. PLUS, thanks to the lovely humidity I also have a bunch of mosquito bites! So far its not as bad as last year, but there's probably about 10 on my body right now and they're driving me NUTS! Ugh! I hate bugs!

Snow:

Really Utah? Snow??? All my fam and friends back in UT are complaining about the snow. I can't say I blame them, it is pretty lame to get snow in late May, but honestly, given the heat, humidity and mosquito bites I'm dealing with now...I'll trade Utah anytime!!! Send some cold and snow please! Kill the dang mosquitos frozen, frozen, very VERY dead! And please oh please let me sleep tonight!!!

You Go Jo!

2010-05-20T09:30:00.002-04:00

Its no secret to anyone who knows me at all that I love all things Harry Potter and that includes his talented creator, JK Rowling.

I came across something today that she wrote in April this year and had published in a newspaper: The Single Mother's Manifesto

Now, I won't begin to know the first thing about British politics (I don't even know much about US politics to be honest as the subject always seems to just greatly depress me when I start to really try to get into it) but I'm really impressed by the things Jo has to say in this article. I may have to do some more research on the subject, but it seems that someone running for political office is pushing a sort of "family values" platform and suggesting that single mothers are a serious problem. To give an "incentive", this man is proposing that young low-income married couples be given a 150 pound tax break (which I believe translates to less than $300 American...actually the calculator I just used online put it at $214 American). The bottom-line in seems: This guy is suggesting that single mothers run out and get married or that mothers stay in bad relationships for $214 a year. Lovely.

JK Rowling was of course a single mother when she was first writing the Harry Potter books and she lived greatly on government income. Since her success as an author, she could have moved to another country where she would not be so greatly taxed as she is now (it was stated on one Harry Potter podcast that she is taxed in a 50% tax bracket over there...I don't know if that is accurate, but honestly, can you imagine giving 50% of your income to taxes??) She states in this article that one of the reasons she has not done that is because she feels its her duty to her country to give back to the system that helped her when she was at rock bottom. I'm a huge supporter of family values and I certainly have an opinion of some single parents who do abuse the system, but I also know that many people can not help the situations they find themselves in and many things are out of their control. There are many single moms in this world who have left abusive relationships or been abandoned by their husbands. Many single mothers are struggling by their fingernails to balance parenting and trying to make a living and are barely scraping by and they are in need of government assistance to get them through a tough time. I really admire Jo for getting through her tough times and making an amazing life for her and her daughter and I admire her for standing up for what she feel is right.

You Go Jo!

Here are a few of the bits from the article that I really liked and I'll post the link to the full article below.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

From The Times April 14, 2010

The single mother's manifesto
J.K. Rowling

I had become a single mother when my first marriage split up in 1993. In one devastating stroke, I became a hate figure to a certain section of the press, and a bogeyman to the Tory Government. Peter Lilley, then Secretary of State at the DSS, had recently entertained the Conservative Party conference with a spoof Gilbert and Sullivan number, in which he decried “young ladies who get pregnant just to jump the housing list”. The Secretary of State for Wales, John Redwood, castigated single-parent families from St Mellons, Cardiff, as “one of the biggest social problems of our day”. (John Redwood has since divorced the mother of his children.) Women like me (for it is a curious fact that lone male parents are generally portrayed as heroes, whereas women left holding the baby are vilified) were, according to popular myth, a prime cause of social breakdown, and in it for all we could get: free money, state-funded accommodation, an easy life.

An easy life. Between 1993 and 1997 I did the job of two parents, qualified and then worked as a secondary school teacher, wrote one and a half novels and did the planning for a further five. For a while, I was clinically depressed. To be told, over and over again, that I was feckless, lazy — even immoral — did not help.

*******

Yesterday’s Conservative manifesto makes it clear that the Tories aim for less governmental support for the needy, and more input from the “third sector”: charity. It also reiterates the flagship policy so proudly defended by David Cameron last weekend, that of “sticking up for marriage”. To this end, they promise a half-a-billion pound tax break for lower-income married couples, working out at £150 per annum.

I accept that my friends and I might be atypical. Maybe you know people who would legally bind themselves to another human being, for life, for an extra £150 a year? Perhaps you were contemplating leaving a loveless or abusive marriage, but underwent a change of heart on hearing about a possible £150 tax break? Anything is possible; but somehow, I doubt it. Even Mr Cameron seems to admit that he is offering nothing more than a token gesture when he tells us “it’s not the money, it’s the message”.

Nobody who has ever experienced the reality of poverty could say “it’s not the money, it’s the message”. When your flat has been broken into, and you cannot afford a locksmith, it is the money. When you are two pence short of a tin of baked beans, and your child is hungry, it is the money. When you find yourself contemplating shoplifting to get nappies, it is the money. If Mr Cameron’s only practical advice to women living in poverty, the sole carers of their children, is “get married, and we’ll give you £150”, he reveals himself to be completely ignorant of their true situation.

How many prospective husbands did I ever meet, when I was the single mother of a baby, unable to work, stuck inside my flat, night after night, with barely enough money for life’s necessities? Should I have proposed to the youth who broke in through my kitchen window at 3am? Half a billion pounds, to send a message — would it not be more cost-effective, more personal, to send all the lower-income married people flowers?

********

I chose to remain a domiciled taxpayer for a couple of reasons. The main one was that I wanted my children to grow up where I grew up, to have proper roots in a culture as old and magnificent as Britain’s; to be citizens, with everything that implies, of a real country, not free-floating ex-pats, living in the limbo of some tax haven and associating only with the children of similarly greedy tax exiles.

A second reason, however, was that I am indebted to the British welfare state; the very one that Mr Cameron would like to replace with charity handouts. When my life hit rock bottom, that safety net, threadbare though it had become under John Major’s Government, was there to break the fall. I cannot help feeling, therefore, that it would have been contemptible to scarper for the West Indies at the first sniff of a seven-figure royalty cheque. This, if you like, is my notion of patriotism. On the available evidence, I suspect that it is Lord Ashcroft’s idea of being a mug.

Child poverty remains a shameful problem in this country, but it will never be solved by throwing millions of pounds of tax breaks at couples who have no children at all. David Cameron tells us that the Conservatives have changed, that they are no longer the “nasty party”, that he wants the UK to be “one of the most family-friendly nations in Europe”, but I, for one, am not buying it. He has repackaged a policy that made desperate lives worse when his party was last in power, and is trying to sell it as something new. I’ve never voted Tory before ... and they keep on reminding me why.

© J. K. Rowling, 2010

Link To Full Article:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article7096786.ece?token=null&offset=0&page=1

Happy Anniversary!!!

2010-05-18T11:13:00.002-04:00

While Phil and I have only been "officially" a couple for a few months, we've actually known each other an entire year now! Last weekend I got to go up to Canada for another visit and to celebrate our 1st Anniversary of the day we "met" each other.

It was a very full weekend! I got the chance to meet Phil's parents, his 3 amazing and beautiful little girls and their mom Nicole. Everyone was so nice and welcoming to me for which I am truly grateful because I was VERY nervous to meet them all.

Last time I went to Canada I flew there (to the tune of about $300). This time I decided to be brave and try out the new Greyhound bus route from NY to Toronto. Depending on the bus schedule its anywhere from 10-15 hours! Yikes huh!? But its also a ton cheaper (like under $100 people!) so I decided it would be worth it. The good news is that there are schedules that drive through the night so I was able to pack my pillow, dress comfy and just sleep most of the time. Sure I was woken up every few hours for the scheduled stops and the dreaded customs visit, but at least the driving time went quickly while I slept inbetween stops.

I was so happy to see Phil waiting for me when I got off the bus on Friday morning! YAY!

That first day I spent time with Phil's dad while Phil had to work, then that evening I cooked dinner for the rest of the family I'd be meeting that evening. We had a really good time sharing dinner and getting to know each other. I really like all of them and hope they feel the same about me.

Phil's younger girls spend the night at the house on Friday so Saturday morning we all had a fun pancake breakfast together. Then Phil and I spent the day together window shopping at the mall and watching movies and enjoying our time together.

Sunday we went to church which I love! One of the toughest things about being in a family ward here in CT is that I'm all alone. It can get very lonely and depressing sitting there in Sacrament Meeting all by myself surrounded by all the families. One of my favorite things is sitting in Sacrament Meeting next to Phil and holding his hand. It makes me feel so at peace with everything, like I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and with exactly the right person by my side. He makes me feel whole in a way I never have before. I am so blessed to have him in my life!

After church we had lunch together, Skype called my mom to wish her Happy Mother's Day, watched a movie, then after a tearful anniversary card exchange (I'm such an emotional baby sometimes! haha) I had to face the really tough part...packing to go home :( I was not a happy girl.

When I was all packed up, Phil and I drove to his Mom's house to visit her for Mother's Day, then it was off to the bus station. Saying goodbye is such a hard thing to do at the end of our weekends together. I want more than anything to just stay there with him. I have to remind myself how lucky we are that we can have these visits at all! For the past year it wasn't possible and now we're so lucky that my boss allows me the time off to go up there and that the new bus routes make the travel so much more affordable. Really we are so blessed! I need to remember that and focus on all the positive parts! Really our life together is just getting better and better! :)

Next trip to Canada is in just a few weeks and I can't wait! It will sadly be a day shorter than the other trips but its certainly better than nothing! I'll take 2 days over no days everytime!

Phil, thank you so much for loving me like you do and for making this past year so amazing! I'm so grateful we've found each other! You're the greatest!

XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Happy Anniversary My Love!

Making Up For Lost Holidays!

2010-04-19T15:00:00.003-04:00

Over our weekend, Phil and I covered 3 missed holidays together: Christmas, Easter and Valentine's Day!

For Christmas, Phil had left his tree up for me (though I maintain that he's using his "romantic" nature as an excuse to not have to put it down! haha). Our "First Christmas" ornament which I had sent him back in December was hanging right up top! :)

For Easter, Phil sent me on a very special Easter Egg hunt to find 12 colored, hollowed out eggs for me to crack open, each of which contained a special "love note" for me to discover! Seriously the cutest, sweetest thing any guy has ever done for me! I LOVE PHIL!

Finally, for Valentine's day we got all dressed up and I made Phil a romantic candle-light dinner. While I was busy in the kitchen cooking, Phil surprised me with a Valentine card and this cute little bear that sings to me! Haha sooo cute!

Ketchup What???

2010-04-17T14:21:00.003-04:00

I'm curious...any American's ever heard of Ketchup flavored potato chips? I certainly hadn't until I went to Canada...

Stolen Moment...

2010-04-10T16:21:00.002-04:00

Just stealing a quick moment to update all my lovely friends and let them know that everything here in Canada is SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR!!! (and to all those who were worried...he is definitely NOT an axe murderer :P haha)

Will post a full report and pics when I get back!

LOVE TO YOU ALL!
XOXOXOXOXOX

TODAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!

2010-04-09T14:11:00.000-04:00

Well, its taken 11 months to finally get here but today is "THE Day!" (As my 6 year old little shadow proclained this morning! Haha) At the moment I am sitting at the gate in the airport less than 2 hrs from taking off for Canada!!!! Phil my darling, HERE I COME!!! :)

Sooooo Close!!!

2010-04-05T21:51:00.003-04:00

The week has finally arrived! On Friday (just 4 days away now!) I will be flying to Canada to spend the weekend with my sweet Phil!

I can't even express how excited I am to finally be there with him! Friday can NOT come fast enough!!!

My Easter weekend was exhausting but good. On Saturday my employers hosted their annual Easter Egg Hunt. Its a very big deal and a massive event at this house and this was my 3rd one helping out. It was very tiring but was actually kind of fun. The cool thing is that my boss is really starting to see me as someone who knows what to do in the kitchen (and she is an amazing chef so it means a lot to me coming from her!) and she even said to me that day that of all the people helping out she really needed me helping with the cooking. She's very much a perfectionist individual (I am as well! Probably why I'm able to work for her this long! haha) so to know that she trusted me with all the big cooking stuff meant a lot! She also mentioned what a great job I do for them and how greatful she is that I'm there for her kids...that was really nice to hear :) Appreciation can go a long way and she's honestly the first nanny employer I've had to really go out of her way to express it so that's a good thing.

The bonus was that they also paid me extra for all the hard work on Saturday which is so nice because that allowed me to get a few new additions for my wardrobe to take up to Canada! Yay!

Sunday I spent the day on Skype with my sweetie, listening to conference and chatting with him and his kids. It was a nice and relaxing recovery day from the madness of the day before!

This week will be very crazy and busy as I prepare to go. You'd think the world wouldn't collapse just because one nanny is taking a couple days off, but it seems that in fact it is collapsing! Haha I guess the bonus is that my going away makes them realize even more how valuable I am. It seems everything decided to hit this weekend, but to my boss's credit, they haven't once suggested that I postpone this trip...probably because they know the very suggestion would make me want to quit on the spot (something Phil would be in full support of! LOL)

People keep asking me if I'm nervous...the truth is I am a bit, but mostly I'm just excited to be with him and relieved that the waiting time is finally over and behind us. I've had a few people express concerns about me staying in touch with family and friends over the weekend to ensure that my Phil is not an axe murderer....rest assured people, of the two of us we both agree that I'M way more likely to be the axe murderer! Hahaha Really though people, don't worry about that one...I'm not worried about it in the slightest. A lot of people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that Phil and I have been getting to know each other for almost 11 months now and have still not met in person. Believe us, it was not ideal for us in any way and had there been another option that would fit with what we felt was right we would have been together much sooner, but we both wanted to do things the right way and I know we'll be blessed for that.

I may not have been face to face, in person with him yet, but I know him. I know him very well and he knows me too. We love each other and now we can finally, FINALLY be together! :) We are SOOOO blessed!!!! I love you baby!!!! XOXOXOXOX Finally you are truly mine and I am truly yours and on Friday I'll be in your arms where I belong!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...DOH!

2010-04-01T14:21:00.001-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!!! I LOVE YOU!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Three Busy Weeks!

2010-03-31T22:02:00.002-04:00

Its been a crazy few weeks in my little world. The previous 2 weeks I had the kids home for Spring vacation. It actually wasn't too bad because we kept busy with activities and stuff but it was very tiring.

A happy update in Dell Computer Saga...a very very kind and helpful friend came over to see if she could work her magic and breathe any life back into my evil Dell. Unfortunatly she wasn't able to save any of my files from the hard drive :( But she did help me discover how ridiculously cheap and easy it would be to switch out the hard drive for a new one which meant I could do it myself and take back the expensive new computer! Yay!

Of course, Best Buy had to charge me a dang restocking fee but even with that it was still several hundred dollars less and I now have my Dell back in working order (and I did the actual hardware exchange and reprogramming the operating system all by myself! I'm wildly impressed with me! LOL)

So that's all been good. Probably just a matter of time before it bites the dust again, but maybe I'll get lucky for a change...haha right...

Just a day or two later when I installed the Blackberry software onto my newly restored computer, I hooked up my Blackberry to update it and remove the files from it onto a disk. The program froze up so I clicked on the little thing to safely remove the phone from the computer. When I unhooked it from the computer EVERYTHING was gone!!!! My whole phone was wiped back to how it was when I opened it on day one! OH MY GOSH!!!! Why oh WHY does technology hate me sooo much!?!?! I absolutely started to cry. First my computer files gone and now my Blackberry too! My entire electronic exsistence just gone..poof!

In tears I called the Verizon people who thankfully were WAY nicer and WAY more helpful than the stupid Dell guys. One of the lovely Verizon Angels of Magnificence & Knowledge helped me on the phone for over an hour and with his help we discovered a hidden back up my computer had made of all my Blackberry files so I was able to restore them to the Blackberry! Hallelujah!!!

So hopefully now my technological life will run smoothly for awhile.

In other eventful news and definitely the more exciting of the list: I bought my plane ticket for Canada! I can't believe its finally happening! I've been waiting to go there for almost a year! I'm nervous but mostly just excited. I know its going to be an amazing weekend and one that will be very tough to have come to an end, but we're already looking ahead to future visits soon and then of course working on moving me up there so hopefully we won't have to do this long distance, back and forth stuff for too long. I love him soo much! :)

This week the kids went back to school (YAY!) but my employers are hosting their annual Easter Egg Hunt this weekend and of course I get to work the whole day. Luckily I've enlisted a friend or two to help out as well so I won't be all alone in the sea of crazy, sugar-hyped kids and wealthy but amazingly dull adults, all getting drunk on mimosas. Oh yes...what a jolly holiday it will be! But at least I know that the next Saturday I'll be with Phil and that is all that matters!!!!

Hope everyone has a lovely Easter (and Conference!) weekend!
XOXOXOX

Opposition in All Things!

2010-03-11T11:44:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was one of those incredible turning point days where something you've waited for, put your whole focus and every effort into, FINALLY happens!

For the past 10 months I've been falling more in love with Phil every single day and he has been making my life so much happier and more fulfilled than ever before. But due to some circumstances beyond our control we haven't been able to be together and have been stuck letting our relationship grow long distance.

Yesterday we got one gigantic milestone step closer to finally being together! The holdup has been resolved and in one month I will be able to go to Canada to visit him! YAY! I am nervous and excited all wrapped into one. Its a funny thing having this strong a relationship from a distance...a lot of people who know us probably don't understand it at all, but it doesn't matter...we love each other and now we can finally start being together and feeling like a normal couple! I feel sooooo blessed!!!

This also means that I can start actively working on moving up to Toronto, because after 10 months of long distance I know that neither of us is going to want to stay long distance any longer than we have to. I've started to contact nanny agencies in Canada and hopefully will get the ball rolling to get a placement there and all the immigration stuff taken care of. Its going to be a complicated process I'm sure but I'm excited to finally be able to actively work towards what I want instead of having to sit patiently waiting, waiting and waiting some more for things out of my control.

So as you can imagine, yesterday morning I was on Cloud 9! I was so excited when I got the news that I was literally bouncing around my room and had a smile from ear to ear....During the last 10 months of waiting I feel like Heavenly Father has been really drilling home to me the value of patience. Now that a big portion of this specific lesson in patience has come to an end, I think He saw my euphoria as a perfect opportunity to teach me another lesson....OPPOSITION!

There needs be opposition in all things...This is something that I've really come to understand in the last few years particularly and really started to gain a better appreciation for. I suppose that because I know how the knowledge and understanding of the principle its time for me to really be tested on it.

After getting my good news, my laptop decided to have a heart attack (in the form of a completely crashed hard drive) and stop working! It really had me crashing back down to Earth. My computer houses my life...my pictures, my writing, my journals...it is the way I pass the time, the way I do great with my job, the way I'll be able to effectively work on moving to Canada and most importantly, my computer is the way that I talk to Phil! Because he is in Canada it costs a lot of money for us to call each other by phone so we've relied completely on Skype to talk to and (thanks to webcams) see each other. Without a computer we would have very little contact....YIKES!!!!

So I made a call to the Dell technical support center....they helped me zero. They wanted to charge me hundreds of dollars just to talk to me. So I packed up my square shaped life and took it to the hospital known as GEEK SQUAD! The black-tied surgeon gave it a good look over and tried some tricks but to no avail...the hard drive was damaged beyond repair and would most likely need to be replaced:

Full diagnostics: $70
Replacement hard drive: $70
Labor costs: $50 minimum
Software replacement: $30
More labor costs for software installation: $50
Attempt to recover lost information on hard driver: $200+++
Time required to fix laptop: 1 week

Price I paid for said laptop: $400

Amanda NOT happy! But but but...don't I have a warranty??? I purchased the laptop with a special credit card that would extend my warranty!

Warranty: MAY cover the problem, but will not know until after it is repaired. If not covered, it will still cost you. (Fabulous!) Oh and you'll pay out of pocket...the credit card company will then reimburse you (Hmm wonder how long that will take and how many hoops I'll have to jump through)

Time: To take advantage of the warranty you must send your computer away for 1-2 months (1-2 months with NO COMPUTER?????)

Amanda VERY NOT happy!!!

So the bottomline, I had 3 options:

1. Send computer away and live without one for 2 months (and basically without Phil too!) and HOPE that the costs to repair are covered and HOPE that the credit card company really does reimburse me!

2. Go ahead and pay upfront to have Geek Squad fix it on the spot and only be without a computer for a week, but still out almost the price I paid for the stupid thing and that's WITHOUT paying to try to save my files!

3. Accept the loss, spend a little more money and buy a whole new computer

None of these options made me happy...but in the end I opted for door #3 because I'd never liked the Dell computer anyone. In the year and half I've owned it, its given me nothing but grief and I've had to take it to Geek Squad on numerous occasions anyway. My wallet is not happy about the purchase as that money was intended to pay off another bill or perhaps finance a couple trips to Canada...but its life I guess isn't it :(

The good news is that I actually had a lot of my files saved onto discs. But sadly I've lost a lot of my pictures from the last few months that I never backed up, including most of my Florida vacation pictures :( I'm so sad about that.

All in all...in was one big fat emotional day! But I will happily concede that the joy far outweighed the grief!

I am soooo happy to finally know when I'll be able to go to Canada and so happy that Phil and I can finally truly start to pursue our relationship together!

May my stupid Dell RIP

An Awesome Week!

2010-02-21T20:04:00.003-05:00

Its been one great week for me :)

1. My First REAL Valentine's Day!

Sad but true, I've never actually been in a relationship on Valentine's Day before. I once met a boyfriend 3 days after Valentine's Day...another time I was dumped the week BEFORE Valentine's Day...but I've never had a significant other ON Valentine's Day...until NOW!!!

Of course Phil was in Canada and I was here but that didn't stop him from making sure that he was the best first Valentine I could possibly have! He sent me some gorgeous flowers and we spent all the time we coud together on Valentine's Day thanks to the wonderful, life saving technology of Skype! Thanks baby for an awesome first Valentine's Day together! I can't wait for the next one when we'll actually BE together! Hahaha I love you!

2. Amanda, the baker!

So you know if you read my blog that I've been cooking a lot lately. Up till now its been mostly cooking and NOT baking (and he few baking projects I've tried have been terrible disasters!) but now I'm getting brave and giving baking a real try. I've had a few more disasters but the one thing that's gone great is CUPCAKES! I found an absolutely superb recipe for cupcakes and I'm obsessed! My first attempt came out beautiful and delicious (pic in my current slideshow!) but I wasn't thrilled with the frosting. It was fine but I wanted amazing. I set off (across the internet) in search of an excellent buttercream recipe and I found one with great reviews. It looked really intimidating but I decided to be brave Chef (or should I say PASTRY Chef) Amanda and give it a try. It turned out SPECTACULAR! The cupcakes, the buttercream, it was all soooo delicious I had to give 90% of them away to friends just to avoid eatting them all myself! YAY me!

3. Amanda, the college graduate!

Ten years after High School I've finally recieved my Associates Degree! Granted I still have 2 years to complete a bachelors but at least this is a solid step in the right direction! It was science and math that held me up these past 10 years and I'm SOOOO happy to be done with them!!!

4. My Sweetie turns 36!

Phil's birthday was Wednesday :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! XOXOXOX

5. Amanda, bargain shopper!

I got a super sweet deal on boots this week...80% Off!!! Oh Yeah! :)

Hope everyone had as awesome a week as I did!
XOXOXOX

Writing!

2010-02-06T22:28:00.003-05:00

Its been awhile since I posted anything...I think its a product of winter, it makes me feel run down and depressed and keeps me from really wanting to do anything.

But today as I've been sitting around my house sick all day, I came up with a new book idea that I'm really excited about! One of my many goals for this new year is to actually finish writing a whole book. I would love to be a writer. Its one of my all time dreams to be a published author and if I could make a living being a writer that would be marvelous. I have no idea if that dream is even possible. For all I know I have absolutely no talent for writing. But what I do know is that I have a good mind for coming up with stories. I've been doing it my whole life. Something will trigger my imagination and suddenly I'll be coming up with a whole story to go with the single thought I just had. Unfortunately when it comes to putting those stories that are so vivid in my mind down onto the page in a formal book format, that's where I get stuck. I think its a confidence issue mostly, I don't believe I'm good enough to do it. Another problem is just plain trying to make what I see in my head come out right on the page. Maybe I should be a screenwriter instead haha, so many of my stories play in my mind more like a movie than a book, but honestly that's what makes me love books so much. If I'm reading a book and I can clearly picture it in my mind, as though it was playing in front of me on a screen, THAT is what makes me love it. That is what makes reading a pleasure. So I guess that's how I want to write.

Anyway, I'm mostly just rambling now, a place to organize my thoughts and prepare to do the thing I've been scared of and avoiding for years....actually sitting down and writing a whole book!

I have so many ideas, and I think a lot of them are very good. But they're not fully formed in my mind and for some reason I have a hard time writing that way. I need to know the story in my head front to back before I begin really writing it. This is why I abandon books I'm writing and start new projects. I go from one brainstorm to another and as pieces fall into place in my mind I'm able to write a chapter here or there, but I've never been able to just stick to one book at a time and plow through and get one fully written. Not even to complete a first draft of anything.

I'm hoping that will now change. I came up with this idea tonight and I sat down and began to brainstorm. As I did, the ideas just came floading out of me and the story planted itself on the computer screen nearly fully formed. I could see it, hear the phrases in my mind, see each scene and I laid it all out in front of me, and for the first time ever, I now have a fully completed, beginning to ending outline for a book. A road map that I can follow chapter to chapter, knowing exactly what's coming and what needs to happen next. Roughly translated this also means I have no excuses to stop after the first chapter or two. I know what's coming...now I just have to sit down and start writing it.

One of my goals this year is to finish a whole book and to start working on getting it published....I think tonight I just found that book! Off to start writing it....

XOXOXO

2009 Review: Better Late Than Never!

2010-01-27T22:19:00.002-05:00

Happy Be-lated New Year Everyone!!!

I'm very late in getting this post up but its already been a crazy 2010! Here is a quick review of my 2009! I found some of the most wonderful blessings this past year. Though it has certainly not been an easy one, it has been a great one! Here's to 2010 being even better!!!

***2009 REVIEW***

JANUARY:

- Nearly froze to death in the CT cold, but the frozen icicle trees were BEAUTIFUL!

FEBRUARY:

- Took a two week visit to Utah where I visited 7 different temples (including getting to attend St George with 2 very close family friends and attending Prove with my wonderful brother...our first time in the temple together!), saw a bunch of friends, drove clear to Las Vegas, met a good long distance friend in person, ate IN n Out burger (YUM!), enjoyed the awesome weather of Vegas and St George and met my adorable nephew Elijah for the first time! Awesome trip!

MARCH:

- Shared in my best friends joy as she welcomed her daughter, Kennedy, into the world and became a Mommy for the first time!

- Took a week long trip with my nanny family to Washington DC and visited the DC Temple!

APRIL:

- Spent an adventurous and tiring weekend (in record 90 degree weather....not fun after you've been to the temple!) in NYC with my friend Jason

- Got a personal trainer at the gym and discovered that I enjoy weight lifting

- Enjoyed the daffodils and other beautiful flowers of CT for what I THOUGHT would be the last time HAHA

MAY:

- FINALLY found the answer to many years of prayers and fell in love with my wonderful Phil!!! I LOVE YOU BABY!!! <3 <3 <3

- Took a weekend trip to San Francisco for a job interview (which didn't work out!) and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time!

- Made the decision to try and stay on the east coast until things fell into place for me to head further North

- Spent a fun weekend with my nanny family at Princeton

JUNE:

- Had a bad day and got the most beautiful red roses sent from the wonderful love of my life!

- Turned 27 and had a wonderful birthday thanks to my sweetheart, Phil, who gave me one of my hearts desires by sending me Burberry Rainboots and a card that made me cry with happiness and love! (yes...I AM a total sap! haha)

- Had a very generous visit from my Kata who helped me dismantle 4 1/2 years of life on the East Coast and ship it all back to Utah

- Tried salmon for the first time...still don't like it!

- Got stranded in Boston thanks to President Obama and his dang Air Force One!

- Moved back to Utah when no new jobs came my way

- Went to the Manti Pageant with my wonderful family!

- Did a session at the Manti Temple with my brother and sister-in-law!

- Climbed up to the "Y" in Provo and then hiked up Ensign Peak (I felt so proud of me!)

- Got a call from CT requesting my return!

JULY:

- Moved BACK to the east coast (with a LOT less stuff than I moved back to UT with!)

- Met Gerard Butler (What a HOTTIE!) thanks to my boss!

- Was nearly eatten alive by mosquitos!!! GROSS!!!

- Drove a convertible for the first time...I am in love!

AUGUST:

- Lived by the pool!

- Started to really enjoy learning to cook and trying new recipes!

SEPTEMBER:

- Took an awesome weekend trip with Caskey and Holly to Newport RI and went sailing for the first time...LOVED IT! I must visit again with Phil someday! Also ate amazing clam chowder!!! YUM!

OCTOBER:

- Marked 14 years since Adam died...Love you Spuddy!

- Said goodbye to a very close and dear friend after her long battle with cancer came to an end...we love and miss you everyday Joanne! XOXOX

- Helped plan and host a massive Halloween slumber party for work and dressed up as a bumble bee...I was adorable! haha

- Got a new little Christmas tree...what? October is NOT too soon! LOL

NOVEMBER:

- Received the rotten news that things were going to take even longer before Phil and I can be together and had to figure out how to come to terms with it and prepare to wait even longer...still waiting...

- Made a really REALLY tough decision that required Phil and I to stop talking for awhile and began facing the holiday season completely alone, praying all the while that I'd have Phil back in time for Christmas

- Spent Thanksgiving with my nanny family and actually enjoyed myself and helping my boss with the cooking!

DECEMBER:

- Usually my favorite time of year...December was one of the most difficult months of my life as I waited to be able to talk to Phil again and worried he wouldn't come back at all. I faced a lot of my inner fears and doubts and struggled with the magic of Christmas swirling around me when I felt so dark inside by myself...not a happy time. Next December had better be 1000 times better and I'd better spend the majority of it in Phil's arms!!!

- Got the very best Christmas gift when Phil called on Christmas Eve!!!

- Went to Florida for the first time ever with my nanny family and enjoyed spending the end of 2009 by the pool!

It was a VERY eventful 2009! Here's to 2010! Its bound to be full of big life changes and surprises and a bunch of new challenges...but with a little luck I'll finally end up exactly where I want and need to be (and that is in Canada with my wonderful sweetie!)

Love to you all!
XOXOXOXOX

Elf Yourself 2009

2009-12-13T16:02:00.003-05:00

Just plain makes me laugh :) Always a good thing!

Smiling (x2)

2009-12-08T00:18:00.005-05:00

It hasn't been an easy couple of weeks. Just when I think I've reached my limit of what I can handle, Heavenly Father decides to show me I'm stronger than I think and gives me trials to prove it. Admittedly I haven't been handling my latest trial well....at least, I know I could be handling it better. Satan truly knows just where to get me and he's certainly working hard on that.

But tonight, when my heart was full of fear and doubt, I received 2 pieces of information that made my heart feel lighter, brought peace to my soul and made me genuinely smile (and get rather teary too!)

Smile #1 is for my brother James:

James was adopted by my dad during his first marriage. After his divorce, James and my dad found my mom and thus I arrived on the scene.

Growing up, I absolutely adored my big brother. Even after our dad died and he moved to California to be with his mom, we still managed to stay close and as we've grown up, that love and bond has only gotten better. I've never seen him as a half brother or an outsider who was adopted into our family. He's always just been my brother, James. I love him with all my heart!

After a lifetime of wondering and months of searching, tonight, James finally found and talked with his birth mother... After talking to James tonight, hearing about this wonderful woman who gave him life and then gave him to us, my heart was so full of warm fuzzies I felt like the Grinch! I swear my grumpy, depressed heart grew 3 sizes just like in the cartoon! It was so nice to really genuinely smile and feel grateful and blessed. I'm soooooo amazingly grateful to this lovely lady for being brave enough at a young age to have James and then to give him up so that I could grow up with the world's very best big brother. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!!!!!

Smile #2 is for my Sweetheart, Phil

It hasn't been an easy road thus far for Phil and I. Our budding relationship has been hit with so many barricades I feel like I'm in the middle of a never-ending construction zone (you know the ones I mean...those roads that are always blocked off, though you never see the guys working and years later you're still getting stuck on them wondering what on Earth could possibly be taking them this long to repair!)

But though the road has been frustratingly long and bumpy, and though right now it feels like we'll never reach the ending destination where we finally get to be together, the truth is we are getting closer each day and one day, hopefully sooner than later, we will get the blessings out of the trials we're facing now.

Phil is already one of the greatest blessings of my life. I am thankful every single day that Heavenly Father lead us to each other.

Tonight, missing him very much during this time apart, I had a strange desire to Google him and see if anything came up. What I found made that already 3 sizes bigger heart of mine grow 3 MORE sizes with gratitude for the wonderful man that has come into my life and filled my eyes with tears. Its a simple thing, but it demonstrates clearly the generous, kind and loving heart that has captured my own.

Phil did some volunteer work this month with an organization that gives gifts to children who would otherwise have no Christmas. There was a story about it posted and I'll copy the link into this blog below the picture. I've already been feeling that I need to reach out this Christmas season and do service for others to help keep me from becoming to absorbed in my own troubles and woes. Phil's example makes me even more excited to find those opportunities and get going! Thank you, Phil, for being such an amazing man and for loving me...I love you! XOXOXOXOX

http://www.thestar.com/santaclausfund/article/732894

A Long Wait Gets Even Longer....

2009-11-16T11:18:00.004-05:00

So have you ever had a situation where you've been waiting waiting waiting for something and counting down the time and when you're right on the edge, about to finally have the thing or event you've been waiting for it get rips out from under you and you find out you have to start the wait all over again?

Well that's me this week....and it sucks.

What sucks the most is there is literally NOTHING I can do about it, so I'm having to just find a way to accept it.

In an effort to do that and make the next long wait less painful I'm looking around for things to bring more joy to my life. My first plug is my new obsession: FREECYCLE.ORG!!!

Have you ever used it? Heard of it before now? Well if not then you totally should! Its a website where you can post things you don't need for other to get from you for free in your area. Its an effort to keep perfectly good items you don't need out of landfills (Go Green!)

Unfortunately after my moving purge of June I don't have much to contribute to the site (wish I'd known of it back then!) but I am benefitting tremendously from it! In the last 2 weeks I've inherited a crock pot, a set of dishes, a bathroom scale, a desk and chair (which I'm currently sitting at...though I do need to sand it down and repaint it!), a coffee table and a wingback chair! This weekend I bought some pretty throw pillows and a blanket to go with the new furniture and transformed my little apt's living room into a very cozy feeling "home". Next up I'm hoping to get a centerpiece and possibly a rug. Also on freecycle I'm seeking out a dining room table and chairs and either a treadmill or an exercise bike to help me lose some stinking weight this winter. That is the one silver lining of continued waiting....I have more time to get in better shape!

I'm feeling the need to be a little homemaker and hostess lately. My newfound joy of cooking has me ending up with WAY too much food on hand and that doesn't help that whole "losing weight" plan at all. So recently I've made the decision to start inviting people over more often and doing a bit of entertaining (haha)! Last night my friend Caskey came over for dinner and it was really nice. Last weekend I had my friend Holly over and also had a great time. As I improve my little apt space and make it more homey I think I'll really enjoy doing this on a regular basis. I need to be more sociable and not just lock myself away all the time. I really do enjoy cooking...some of my latest efforts: Mint Creamcheese Brownies, Chicken Pot Pie, Hot Cocoa Crockpot Cake, and Beef Stroganoff (with made from scratch mashed potatoes...I know, not at ALL impressive except that I've never done it before LOL) Here's a couple pics...

I'm a social enough person, but I find that when I get very focused in on something I tend to put all my energy into that and its easy to get really wrapped up in myself. I need to focus more on enjoying those around me and the situation I'm in and trusting that all the things I'm hoping and praying for with come to me in their appropriate time.

I went to the temple on Saturday which was nice and I'm also trying to get involved in geneology work. Its a very overwhelming task but I'm looking forward to learning more as I move along. At least the internet and technology of New Family Search make it very easy to get started!

In an effort to think more of others I've also decided to start seeking out more service and missionary opportunities. I won't be spending Christmas the way I'd hoped to so I've decided that during the holidays I want to try to do a lot of service for others to enjoy the season and bring joy to others rather than wallowing. We'll see how that goes...haha

Also in trying to be festive I got myself a new little tree this weekend to put in my bedroom window. I love it!

Anyway...that's my update for now! Hope everyone else is having more luck with their hopes and dreams than I've had this week. Say some extra special prayers for me right now please, I could sure use them!

XOXOXOXOX

Lots of Love

Busy Weekend

2009-10-26T13:01:00.002-04:00

It was a very busy weekend and started out on Friday morning. My boss decided to let the kids have a Halloween slumber party. Originally I had suggested it in place of the much larger Halloween party she'd promised them and then decided it would be too much work. My thinking was let them each invite one friend to sleep over (the sleep over part would make up for the fact that it wouldn't be a "real" party), they could dress up in costumes, rent a fun Halloween movie and order pizza...Nice...Easy....Simple....

Until my boss got involved....she turned my nice, easy, simple slumber party into a massive amount of work but letting each child invite 3 friends each and insisting that we still do party games, goodie bags, themed food and decorations. Um....wasn't the idea to NOT have to do all the party crap?????

Well, I guess it doesn't matter much to her since I'M the one doing all the work. So I spent a lot of time in the week before planning games, shopping for goodie bags, prizes and decorations.

Starting the moment the kids were off to school Friday morning I started frantically pulling all the sprawling party pieces together. Putting bags together, labeling them all, labeling glasses for the party (heaven forbid the plastic skeleton goblets get mixed up with the massive swine flu epidemic terrifying all of CT!), and cooking every disgusting thing you could imagine for the ever popular Halloween "Guess what this really is" game (oh come on....you remember....peeled grapes as eyeballs, cooked spaghetti as worms....etc etc).

Decorating, picking up guests that needed rides, running last minute "we absolutely have to have just one more thing....just a few more of those....just a couple more movie choices...." errands, and then finally the party began.

I tossed on my Bumblebee costume (which I informed the kids made me a Tickle Bee...no stinging from this girl...tickle attacks only!) and helped attempt to keep the massive histeria under control.

The kids all had a good time running wild and eventually sitting for food and games while the adults drank and socialized...except for me. I was still on the clock of course. So I ran around cleaning up one mess while setting up the next and keeping the kids from spilling electric green punch on the white furniture or attacking each other with the various weapons that accompanied their costumes (a devils pitch fork, an Indiana Jones whip, a ninja's roundhouse kick and a few lightsabers in the hands of sugar-crazed little kids...oh the joy!)

When bedtime finally drew near we dealt with the inevitable throng of kids who had melt downs and pleaded with us to be returned home to their parents rather than staying overnight. Several actually did go home that night. By the time those parents had come and gone it was well after 10 pm. Finally we started getting the kids to bed....and once they were settled I turned to the disaster in the kitchen. Yes, I probably could have left it till morning, but since they'd be feeding 6 kids breakfast there I knew it would only get worse. My wings drooping I stood in front of the sink for another hour washing dishes and wiping counter tops. Finally at nearly midnight I blew out the last of the candles and escaped to my bed, my feet about to fall off.

Thankfully my boss did a lot of the breakfast clean up before I'd even gotten out there Saturday morning. So Saturday wasn't too bad. I stayed in bed all morning, did a little shopping in the afternoon (got a great Christmas present for my sweetie...hoping I'll get the chance to give it to him in person *sigh*) and then spent the evening hanging out with one of the families I used to nanny for.

Sunday was Stake Conference but since the church they were holding it at is really far away and I already felt completely drained from the Halloween slumber party fiasco (and coming down with a cold on top of it all!) I decided to allow myself to sleep in and then spent the day listening to conference sessions I'd missed a few weeks ago and watching a few gospel videos. I took a walk while listening to the Priesthood session on my ipod and enjoyed the gorgeous fall weather. Then when I got back I decided to do some baking. I made my first attempt at Cinnamon Raisin Bread :)

I need to roll the dough thinner to make it more swirly and I need to use more raisins and cinnamon inside, but all and all it was pretty darn good for a first try and tastes really yummy!

Sunday evening I started feeling really sick to my stomach and spent most of the evening in bed not wanting to move for fear I'd get REALLY sick! This morning my boss informed me that she and her husband both were sick last night as well. The kids got the flu mist vaccines last Thursday and we're thinking that we may have caught a mild flu from the vaccine....weird but I guess it makes sense that the vaccine would bring the active flu into the house.

Stomach is alright today but I'm feeling tired and achy all over. Hopefully it'll all pass quick.

Hope everyone else has a lovely Monday :)

XOXOXOXOX

Fourteen Years

2009-10-19T22:11:00.003-04:00

Adam Joseph Willis

January 9, 1987 - October 19, 1995

I love you Spuddy, still miss you every single day

XOXOXOXOX

Angels

2009-10-18T20:42:00.003-04:00

Fourteen years ago this evening there was a knock on my door. It was a lady in our neighborhood named Joanne, she was holding my dog and informed me that my mom and little brother, Adam, had just been in a car accident. My mom had given our dog to her and asked her to bring her home and tell me the news.

The next morning our little Adam left us, but in the months after the accident, Joanne became our very close friend. She and my mom bonded and she invited us into her family with open arms. We got to spend family reunions with them, Christmas parties, Friday night dinners out with her and her son. I spent several Thanksgivings with Joanne and her family in Park City, UT and they were without a doubt some of the very best Thanksgiving memories of my life. She taught me how to play Settlers, which has now become a family obsession and she taught me how to solve a Rubiks cube.

For almost as long as we knew her, Joanne battled cancer and yesterday it was time for her to be at peace and stop fighting.

Joanne entered my life in the moment Adam left it; now along with Adam I know we have another Guardian Angel watching over us.

We love you Joanne, thank you so much for letting us be a part of your life and for brightening ours during such a dark time and in the many years since.

XOXOXOXOX

Bagels: Perhaps third time will be the charm???

2009-10-13T13:00:00.007-04:00

I absolutely LOVE bagels! I was going through my cookbook that was given to me by my lovely sister-in-law, Martha Jane, and I found a recipe in there from her for making bagels. Now baking has never been a friend of mine. I remember in high school trying to make breadsticks that came out hard as rocks. I'm sure yeast was the culprit...I just can't manage to use that stuff correctly! Anyway, it made me nervous to attempt any baking project but I decided to be brave.

I started my baking adventure with homemade choc chip cookies also using one of MJ's recipes...they turned out DELICIOUS and gave me confidenct...but as making cookies is the most basic of baking accomplishments I didn't even bother to take a picture haha

So after my cookie success I started making the bagel dough. Warm water....yeast in....okay...looking right (I think)...smelling right (again..I think)....

When the dough was done it looked good to me...now the test....to let it rise!

So I waited for a bit (recipe said just 20 mins) but didn't see any difference. Rats! Let it go a bit longer...Okay, maybe a little different. Decided to give up and keep going. When all was said and done I had bagels that came out of the oven looking like this:
White and weird looking...UGH! I tried them to see how they taste and though it didn't taste bad it didn't taste good either...it didn't really taste like much of anything. *sigh*

I did have a little dough leftover but by this time it was after midnight so I stuck that dough in a container in the fridge not sure if I could try to make something edible with it the next day.

Well now its the next day. I pulled out the dough a few hours ago and it had actually risen really well! YAY! So at least I got the yeast part right. I formed bagels and let them rise some more. They did and looked better than yesterday so I felt encouraged. I cooked them as directed only this time I also brushed them with egg whites to help them brown nice and pretty and sprinkled a little salt, pepper, garlic and parmesan on them to hopefully give it some flavor this time around. Wasn't much I could do about the shape of them....bagel makers must be masters cause I can't figure out how to make them look nice and properly round!

Into the oven.....wait wait wait.....and.....

Ta da! Okay so still don't look great but at least this time they look cooked! Already a vast improvement! See the difference? Lets make a closer comparison....

Yes indeed....MUCH better! Now to taste...I cut the bagel open and made a tuna salad sandwich. I'm eatting it right now as I type this blog entry. It tastes alright. Nothing monumental unfortunately but definitely better than last nights batch.

But still I think my bagel making has a long way to go before I'd let anyone else have one. Anyone out there make bagels (Martha help me!) that have some tips for me? How do I get them shaped right? The ones I've made don't seem to puff up when baked like I would think they should, any idea what I'm doing wrong?

Thanks!

"Italian" Food

2009-10-07T13:52:00.009-04:00

ITALIAN FOOD!

Okay so not really Italian food...in fact Italians would probably cringe (I know because I work for real Italians and one is a really good chef! LOL) but still...LOL

I love Olive Garden and always have. Sure its a chain restaurant, sure a real Italian or anyone who knows real Italian food could probably argue its authenticity but to me, who is neither Italian nor a food professional, thinks its delicious.

Last Friday night I treated myself to take out from Olive Garden for a quiet movie/dinner night at home. As I sat eatting my favorite Zuppa Toscana soup I realized that somewhere someone must have figured out the recipe for this soup and since I'm trying to become Chef Amanda Extraoridinaire I thought it would be a ton of fun to try to make the soup myself. I Googled it and found a recipe that claimed to be based on Olive Garden's own. Having no idea if it actually would turn out anything like the original I love, I took my list to the store on Saturday and bought all the necessary ingredients. That night I cooked the soup and to my delight it came out PERFECT! It looked and tasted exactly like the soup I get from the restaurant! This is a big deal in the world of inexperienced Chef Amanda!!!
I had also found a recipe for Olive Garden's alfredo sauce that I tried making on Sunday. I ended up altering the recipe once I had the basic down so that it became a spinach mushroom and bacon alfredo sauce which I served (to myself haha) over spinach and cheese ravioli. It was also soooo delicious! YAY ME!

So its not real authentic Italian cuisine...but its one giant step forward from Chef Boyardee! Hahahaha So I'm quite pleased :)

"The Waiting Place"

2009-10-06T11:56:00.004-04:00

I'm beginning to gain a genuine understanding and appreciation for the idea that having a set date in mind when focusing on a goal is the only way to see it through. And it's not just for goals, really its for anything in life. Things you look forward to, things you dread, whatever the "event" I think it must always be better to know the time frame for it.

In the book, Oh The Places You'll Go, Dr. Seuss describes a dreadful place...

"The Waiting place, for people just waiting..."

I'm stuck in "The Waiting Place" right now wishing I could break free from it somehow, just as Dr. Seuss promises I will. I've been in this place for almost 5 months now. I guess in the grand scheme of things 5 months doesn't seem like much at all, but in "The Waiting Place" 5 months seems like an eternity. The worst part about being stuck in "The Waiting Place" is not knowing when you get to leave it. Which of course brings me back to my original thought....its better to have a time frame. 5 months has been a long time to wait, but I had a rough idea of time in mind and that gave me a point of reference to focus on. However, now that "rough idea of time" has been reached, but I'm still waiting, I still don't have the answer to the question, "When?"

It could be this weekend, it could be next month. It should be before Thanksgiving or before Christmas, at least. But what if its longer? Or what if its almost here? It could even be tonight? But I don't know and the not knowing is torture. Remember being a little kid and asking mom and dad over and over again "Are we there yet?" and after the frustrated "No" asking simply "When?" If you can see the destination, even if its further away then you want it to be, at least you know and it makes it seem attainable. But even knowing the final destination, if you don't know how long it will be before you arrive there, it makes you feel like you never will get there. Like its a mirage, a silly vision you've been foolishly holding in your mind that will never actually come true.

Every day being stuck in "The Waiting Place" is getting harder and harder and every day the thing I'm waiting for seems to travel further and further out of my reach rather than feeling like its getting closer, as it should and truly must be...all because there's no time frame. How do you stay put in "The Waiting Place" and not lose your mind? Dr. Seuss makes "The Waiting Place" out to be a terrible trap you must avoid...like its a place a smart person would never dare find themselves in. But that's not always the case, I don't think. Some things are worth waiting for. If they weren't, those who are stuck there would never bother staying so long. Its not like waiting is fun.

When you're stuck in any sort of waiting place, you look for any way to track the time you will be trapped there. In a grocery store line you are constantly glancing at those in front of you, calculating somewhere in the back of your mind how many people there are until it is your turn and how long each will take based on any factor from how many items are in their cart, to the age or experience level of the person doing the "checking". At a hideous place like the DMV, they at least give you a shred of mercy by giving you a number. You can watch the sign that tells you what number they're currently on and even if you're number 103 and they're only on number 7, at least you know where you stand and how long the torture of waiting will last. Even at the doctors office, though you don't have any indication of how long the wait will be, you still can't help looking around and making a mental tally of others in the room: "They came in before me.....they came in after me....that person looks sicker than I am, perhaps their situation is more urgent..."

Our minds, our sanity needs to calculate time in some way in order to outsmart "The Waiting Places" of our lives.

My time in "The Waiting Place" is certainly self imposed. I could leave it at anytime I wanted to, but at the cost of something much more precious. There are ways around "The Waiting Place", ways to out smart it, and escape it before it tells you its your actual time to go. But I can't do them. No, waiting is the only option I have, which makes me feel even more trapped. Oh how I wish that I had that time frame to look to. A way to cross off time as it passes by, to count down to the moment I can finally bid "The Waiting Place" farewell. But that won't happen, there is nothing to count, nothing to cross off.....just me, waiting.

The most wonderful time of the year!

2009-10-01T09:23:00.008-04:00

Yes, Autumn....my favorite time of year! It starts with the kids returning to school and ends with Christmas, can't beat that!

I love this time of year with the leaves changing and the air getting cool. Its perfect outside weather. NY in the fall is beautiful:

I always feel really good in the fall, I'm totally a person whose mood is effected by weather. I feel all inspired to get things done and be creative. I've started a few things that I'm really excited about.

The first is my writing:

One of my dreams is to be a published author. For years I've been creating stories in my head, jotting titles and ideas down in notebooks and a couple years ago I even started to actually write a book. As much as I want it and love to write and create, I've always had a hard time keeping the creative juices flowing and really commiting to my writing. I've decided to quit that and make a conscious effort to really work on my writing at least once a week (really it should be more but lets start slow haha). Last week I got an idea for the story to go with a title I jotted down 2 years ago. Finally I have a direction to go with it and that got me so excited to write. I went to the library and spent several hours writing while the kids were at school. Not sure if its some slight form of Adult ADD or if its my Gemini roots but I always have found it hard to stick to the same project for too long...its too easy to write myself into corners or just hit a creative wall. But I think I've found the solution. Right now I have 3 different books started and still have a notebook full of other ideas. It's gonna take me who knows how long to finish one simple book (I'm so pathetic haha) but if I have multiple projects in the works at the same time I think there will always be something I can be creatively inclined to work on. Here's to me, with a little luck and a lot of hard work, finally getting published someday...what an awesome day that will be!

Another project I've undertaken is learning to cook:

For me, for my future hubby and my future kids I've really decided to make a good effort to cook and cook well. I'll never be some incredible chef but I've discovered that I really enjoy finding recipes that look good or fun to make and giving them a try. In that spirit I've decided to pick out 2 or 3 recipes each weekend to try out and see where it gets me. As I go along I buy the supplies and ingredients I need and slowly but surely my kitchen is become pretty well stocked. I've had some really big successes and some failures too but I'm having a lot of fun. I'll post some of my successes another day once I get a chance to upload the photos of them from my digital camera haha

Another thing that fall has brought me this year is a renewed love affair with my longtime magical boyfriend, Harry Potter:

I've loved Harry since the moment we met. I saw the Sorcerer's Stone movie and I was instantly (and quite surprisingly) hooked. I spent that summer reading the first four books and the next few years swimming in the Harry Potter fandom anxiously awaiting the final 3 books. In my time obsessed with Harry I attended 2 conventions, numerous wizard rock concerts, reading and rereading the books again and again, listening to fan podcasts discussing theory and theory and even convinced my mom to sew me a wizards robe and knit me a Hufflepuff scarf! (I also embarrassed the friends who refused come journey into these extreme lands of geekdom with me!) Yes, I was a total and complete dork but I proudly admit it because that dorky obsession with a series of books gave me some of the greatest friends and most wonderful memories I have. It is also what inspired me so much to try my own hand and writing fantasy books and planted the seed for my dream to be a published author.

When I started dating John in 2007 I became so caught up in it that a lot of my passions slipped away from me. I know that once things settled I would have found them again, but unfortunately there wasn't time for that because I got my heart broken and after that I had a hard time finding joy in much of anything. I've gone to Harry a few times but have never felt that same excited spark I used to feel. I thought a lot of it had to do with the fact that the books were all out and maybe that was part of it too. But I've started watching the movies, listening to the books on my ipod while I fold clothes and even listening to the podcasts that dissect the stories bit my tiny bit and once again I'm falling in love with Harry. People who haven't ever fallen in love with Harry won't understand any of this but those who have know exactly how magical it is and its making me very happy :)

Of course though, the thing making me the most happy is the real love of my life and hopefully very soon there will be more to say about that....for now I'll just say, I love you Phil XOXOXOX

And finally, my current obsession is actually completely Phil's fault....enter Farmville:

Farmville is a ridiculous Facebook game where you build a giant farm from just a few plots of land. Earning coins, ribbons, and levels as you plant, harvest, and tend to your animals. Its such a silly waste of time and it is completely addictive! Haha If you haven't been snatched up by the Farmville bug yet I suggest you stay far far away from it! If however you're already a victim then send me a neighbor request! I only need 13 more for the blue ribbon! LOL

That's all for now folks, hope everyone has a great day!

Love to all,
XOXOXOXOX

Mosquitos: Pure Evil

2009-07-17T10:17:00.003-04:00

Seriously....do they even HAVE a purpose??? Why oh why did God create such a rotten awful irritating and disgusting insect?!?!?! And furthermore, why did Noah save the stupid things!?!?! Let them drowned...let them ALL DROWNED!!!!!!

I have on my body right now 39.......yes, THIRTY-NINE BUG BITES!!!!!!!

It's like the cruelest form of torture ever! The government should take terrorists and rapists and murderers and put them in a room FULL of mosquitos and just let them go nuts! At least then the mosquitos would be doing something useful for humanity!

Does anyone have any good advice for getting mosquitos to hate you??? I'm told not to eat bananas...but I don't eat them much as it is. I'm spraying myself with OFF regularly...but I think they actually like it! I feel like the step mom on Parent Trap who keeps putting on sugar water thinking its bug spray! UGH!

My Summer So Far...

2009-07-13T00:13:00.016-04:00

It has been one crazy summer for me so far! Here are the highlights:

Fell in love with Phil....now if we can just get all the details dealt with, we may actually be together some day! Isn't he so handsome :) *happy twitterpated sigh*

Turned 27

My birthday for one more minute:

Got the most amazing birthday gift from the love of my life

*sigh* Its been my dream to own Burberry rain boots....My baby is the greatest! :)

Tried salmon for the very first time.....still not a fan

Moved across the country back to Utah after 4 1/2 years on the east coast with the help of Kate the Great

Kate is just a little bit OCD...

Went to the Manti Pageant with my family (which meant a lot of time with my adorable niece and nephews!)

Did a session at the Manti Temple with my brother (complete with his crazy beard) and sister-in-law

Hiked the "Y" (Oh yeah....I felt awesome!)

Hiked Ensign Peak (not quite as awesome as the "Y" but still fun)

And finally....moved BACK across the country when the new nanny quit after a mere week and a half!

I hope the second half of this summer is a bit more restful than the first half has been...but at least its given me some things to blog about! Thanks to everyone that saw me in Utah!

XOXOX Love to all

Surprise!

2009-06-02T15:05:00.006-04:00

Its been a pretty frustrating few days for me. I'm still working on landing a job and figuring out where exactly I'll be moving to in 3 weeks.....and the fact that its in 3 weeks has be freaking out quite a bit! This past weekend I had to go away with my nanny family and work and that was even more frustrating because I have so few weekends left to get all the job stuff sorted out.

Yesterday I received several injuries, minor but still rather annoying and then had a frustrating talk with someone who though they meant well, left me feeling very deflated and doubting myself and every decision I'm currently making.

Today wasn't terrible or anything but on top of the frustration of the last couple of days a few things with work this morning had me really irritated and I found myself just not being in the best of moods with the weight of it all swirling around me.

After a shopping trip to Costco (which of course is the BEST place to go when you're already feeling irritated!) I hauled the mountains of groceries into the house only a few of which belonged to me. I took those few little items back to my room....when I walked in something caught my eye....

I have the most wonderful Sweetheart ever!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOX

Love & Faith

2009-05-23T19:23:00.004-04:00

"Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same."

I've found someone amazing and I love him. I'm scared to trust and to truly love again. I'm scared of getting my heart broken and facing the pain of putting it back together again. But if I'm too afraid to try, if I'm too scared to trust, and if I'm too closed off to open my heart I will be alone forever and that is not what I want.

This new found love and the happiness that is coming with it is changing my plans. It looks like I'll be staying in the north-east part of the country though my location will still be changing. Not sure exactly where yet...that all depends on the jobs that come my way in the next couple weeks. I will let you know when I do!

I've found someone amazing and I love him....and by some miracle, he loves me back. I believe it, I trust it and I'm moving with faith towards it. I am happy :)

UPDATE!

2009-05-14T11:17:00.004-04:00

Finally an update...its been awhile. It seems like my life is going at a greatly accelerated pace these days. So much is happening and so much is about to change, I feel like I can't keep up with it all.

Last week I finished my Physics class which completed my credits for my AS degree in general studies. It has been a long time coming so I'm very relieved to have that over (now I just need to fill out the forms to get the degree in hand! I'm such a procrastinator! LOL)

My job has been keeping me busy and I'm almost into my final month with this family and CT/NY. Its weird because on one hand I'm so excited to move on to something new but I'm also very sad to say goodbye. I'm also nervous because I'm not sure where I'm going next.

This weekend though I'm going to be flying out to California to interview with a new family. I hope it all works out because I think it could be a really great job. Wish me luck! Its going to be exhausting doing that long flight twice in one weekend plus working!

A few weeks ago my friend Jason came out to visit. We had a great time in NYC...you can see some of our pictures in the slideshow above ;)

My updated blog decor reflects my current love of American Idol. I really haven't gotten into Idol since the very first season but this year I was home in Utah visiting during the first few episodes and so I got sucked into by my family all watching it. I immediately took a liking to Adam Lambert who's voice I felt was incredible and who reminds me of Pete from Fall Out Boy haha

Of course, last night Adam made it into the final round! I'm also excited because I really love Kris Allen too. I'm hoping Adam wins but if Kris wins I won't be too disappointed. I think at this point both have a good career on its way and I'm excited to get the first albums for both of them sometime in the hopefully near future! I miss Allison too...I hope she puts out an album! :)

XOXOX

Amanda

Good Day!

2009-04-18T18:57:00.003-04:00

It has been a really good day today! I got to sleep in which was wonderful (after my 5 year old came in and tried to convince me that I had to go take care of her at 8 am which wasn't true...but whatever. Sleeping in is sleeping in! LOL)

After I got up (at noon!) I worked for just a bit then it was off to the gym where I had a really good workout...though I'll probably be crying tomorrow! Haha

After the gym and hit up my fav Trader Joe's to get some groceries for the week. As the girl checked out my stuff I looked at everything I'd bought and thought "Ugh, this is gonna cost so much money!" But when she told me my total it was over $40 less than I was expecting! Whoo hoo! Gotta love that! Also gotta love that they now have sour cream and onion flavored Unburied Treasure corn puffs (like my fav white cheddar ones!) Mmmm Still love that store like crazy!

As I did all these things today, the other awesome thing was that the weather was absolutely gorgeous! Like middle of June awesome! And right now the daffodils are all out in CT/NY and that is one of my fav things about Spring here cause I think they're soooo pretty!

All in all...a very very good day :)

XOXO

Happy Tax Day!

2009-04-15T12:22:00.002-04:00

It's probably been about a month since my last update...too much going on in my world!

At the moment my biggest news is that I'm moving back to Utah soon! I'm currently job hunting and will be living in Utah for at least the summer. In the fall I'm not sure what the plan is quite yet, it will depend a lot on the job opportunities I find in the next few months but I definitely need at least a few months at home with my family and friends to recharge my inner happiness! I miss you all sooooo much!!!

This past week the kids and I have been sick so its been a pretty exhausting few days. On Easter Sunday I taught Sunday School through coughs and sniffles but my lesson seemed to go well.

It is of course Tax Day today...got my taxes done weeks ago but held off filing till the last minute. Luckily TurboTax made it nice and easy! Given that my taxes are pretty plain and simple I probably could have just done it myself for free but given that numbers and anything to do with government is not my forte I opted to pay the money to save myself any additional headache and hastle...totally worth it! Haha

No pics really for today's update but I did just update my pics slideshow so check that out up above ;)

Love to everyone!
XOXOXOX

No School

2009-03-22T20:05:00.006-04:00

My kids are out of school for two weeks and its been pretty busy around here. This week we visited the wax museum in Times Square and it was a lot of fun:

We also celebrated St. Patrick's Day with green pancakes, green eggs and ham and green milk as well as some fun green dress up stuff left by sneaky leprechauns:

And one day we made homemade pizza...Mine ended up being heart shaped and was super yummy!!!

Tomorrow morning I'm off on a very early train to Washington DC. My boss has a conference there this week so she took the kids down there too and I'll be watching them while she works. I'm excited because I'll get to visit the DC Temple while I'm there :) Look for a full DC report next weekend! Have a great week everyone!

XOXOX

Loving Trader Joe's

2009-03-10T13:23:00.006-04:00

There's a grocery store out here on the east coast called Trader Joe's....sadly it isn't in Utah but is in NV, AZ and along the west coast as well.

I've been here for 4 years and I'm just now realizing the awesomeness of this store! I will totally miss it when I'm not here anymore.

Why do I love it? It has some of the most awesome food items and its all really reasonably priced :)

Some of my favs:

These white cheddar corn puffs first caught my eye in my boss's cupboard because my best friend Aubrey and I are obsessed with white cheddar popcorn. I tried them and I became hooked! There's another product at the regular grocery store called Pirates Booty which is also delicious, but the great thing about these is 1) they actually taste better in my opinion cause they're puffier and 2) the bag is twice the size and costs less! YAY!

This I just discovered today...this rice comes in little plastic bags. You take out a bag, cut a small hole in the corner and put in the microwave for 3 minutes...VOILA, perfect rice! May not seem like a big deal but after you've worked for an oriental family who has rice with every meal and you've spent almost 2 years scrubbing sticky rice out of the rice cooker every night, you will TOTALLY appreciate the genius of this item! LOL

These cookies are soooo good! Its basically a candy cane flavored Oreo and they are so yummy! And if you think THESE are good....try to super deluxe kind that are covered in dark chocolate and crushed up candy canes...to die for!

This is another one I just found today...dark chocolate covered Edamame! Edamame is one of my favs ever since my oriental family introduced it to me. Its so good and so healthy! This is of course the UNhealthy version LOL Trust me, these are yummy and addictive to snack on! Trader Joe's has a bunch of chocolate covered things like this....choc grahams, choc caramels, choc pistachios, choc espresso beans...I sat there starring at all of them today in aww of how good it all looked! I'll probably try them all before I leave! hahaha (well except the espresso beans but whatever!)

Anyway......this is my Trader Joe's plug....that place is just awesome!

Time & Movies

2009-03-09T11:11:00.004-04:00

So is anyone else completely annoyed by day light savings time? Yes I know, we get that extra sunshine at the end of the day...but seriously; losing an hour of sleep and having to once again wake up in the darkness??? UGH! I hate it, it makes me feel so much more tired (and I even went to bed early!) Not my favorite time of year. I'm feeling jealous of Arizona since they ignore daylight savings time. In fall I'll love it again when we gain our hour back but for now, its bugging me.

Moving on...lol

This weekend I got to hang out with the kids I used to nanny while their parents were out of town and it was a ton of fun. Its weird seeing them so much older now from when I was there with them 4 years ago. Rachel is now driving! That is nuts!!!

Time goes by so fast....in some ways I feel like I've been in NY/CT forever, but in other ways it seems like there's no way I've been here as long as I have. As much as I'm ready to move on to the next part of my life and very ready for that to be in a new location it still is sad to me to leave my life here. It will be strange to tell it goodbye.

On a totally different note, I finally saw Batman The Dark Knight this weekend. I've had people telling me for months how I need to see that movie and have put it off for two reasons:

1) The Joker terrifies me! (Seriously, I had nightmares about him just from the trailer!)
2) Batman Begins bored me to tears! I don't know, I just didn't like that one...I felt lost and bored the whole time and even fell asleep in the middle of it.

But this weekend the kids found out I'd never seen and thought we should watch it. I was actually surprised I did enjoy it (though Joker STILL terrifies me! LOL)

Another movie I saw recently while in Utah that people had been telling me for ages to see was Transformers which I loved. There's lots of movies out there I haven't seen but have been meaning to see for a long time. A friend of mine and I have been talking about movies a lot the last few days and my list keeps on growing.

Anyone have movie suggestions? Things you've seen lately or movies you love that I ought to add to the list? :)

Hope everyone has a great week!!!

Kennedy Katherine Shaner

2009-03-03T20:37:00.004-05:00

Such a cute baby! I think she looks a lot like Seth, especially in this first picture :) Congrats again you guys!!!

A Big Blessing In A Little Package!

2009-03-02T20:38:00.004-05:00

So this morning I woke up around 5:30 am (thanks to the snow plows outside my window!) and found on my cell phone a very special text from my best friend, Aubrey....she was on her way to the hospital to have her very first baby!!!

I'm so very excited for Aubrey and her husband Seth!

Kennedy Katherine was born at 1:27 pm! She is 6 lbs 13 oz and 19 inches with blue eyes and brown hair! I can't wait to see pics of the new little one and am even more excited to get back to Utah to see and hold her! I may not be a blood relative but dang it, I am one proud Aunt Pana!!!

CONGRATS YOU GUYS!!! LOVE YOU!!! XOXOXOXOX

Update Time!

2009-02-28T16:28:00.014-05:00

Its been over a month I think since I've updated this blog....and my dear Martha Jane is probably annoyed by it so here we go: BIG UPDATE!

This past month I got to go home to visit Utah for 2 weeks. It was so great seeing my family and friends. I hadn't been home for a visit in a year, and as my last two visits home were so full of drama, I was in real need of a good happy and successful vacation!

One of the best parts of this vacation was the fact that Utah has so many temples and this time I was able to go inside them! My goal is to visit all the temples in Utah this year and I also want to see as many other temples as I can. My goal for this trip was to make it to as many temples as I could and I certainly made it to a lot of them!

BOUNTIFUL: I got to visit the Bountiful Temple with my friend Kate. This is so wonderful because Kate wasn't able to come to Manhattan for my actual endowment so it was great to finally be there with her. We both got a little emotional as we waited for the session to start and that was very special...we could both feel the Spirit so strong. The really neat thing about this visit was that this ended up being the first time that I got through the session without help from the temple workers! That was such a neat thing for me!

ST. GEORGE: I attended the St. George Temple with Jim and Jeannie Fowler. Jeannie is my half brother James's mom and Jim is her husband. We've been close to them my whole life and it was very special to go to the temple with them. I was able to take one of Jim's family names through the temple that day and that made it extra special for all of us!

LAS VEGAS: I visited the Las Vegas Temple on my own and it was a very special day. I was able to do a session and do some sealings afterwards. Of all the temples I've seen I think Las Vegas's Celestial room is my very favorite...it is sooooo beautiful!

LOGAN TEMPLE: The Logan Temple wasn't on my list of planned temples to visit. I certainly wanted to but I hadn't planned to go to Logan at all. That morning the plan was to meet my friend Mindy in Ogden and she was driving down from Logan. I had planned to go to the Ogden Temple before she got to Ogden later in the day but when I got to Ogden I found that the Ogden Temple was closed for a few weeks. Determined not to miss my planned morning temple visit I made a last minute decision and drove the rest of the way up to Ogden (texting and calling Mindy frantically - since she wasn't ANSWERING! lol - to try and catch her before she drove down as I was instead coming up to her!) It all worked out and I was able to get into a session at the Logan Temple!

PROVO TEMPLE: Again, Provo wasn't officially on my planned list. I had originally planned to attend the Timpanogas Temple with my brother James and sister-in-law Martha. Unfortunately the babysitters came down with a yucky flu bug and weren't able to take my little nephew for the morning so Martha ended up staying back. James suggested that we go to the Provo Temple instead and I was perfectly happy to change the plans. It was so special being with my brother in the temple! Timpanogas is still on my need to visit list...Martha, next time I'm home its you and me!!!

While I was home I also got to visit the Salt Lake Temple with Aubrey, though timing didn't work out right for a session and we ended up doing Initiatories instead. I can't wait to go back with her and do a session as Salt Lake is one of my very favorite temples. Also, with my brother and his family I got to visit the Draper Temple open house which was also very special being able to be inside a temple with my little neice and nephews!

The rest of my trip was spent seeing as many friends and family as I could and it was so great seeing all of you!!!

Lots of love! XOXOXOX

Loving Church

2009-01-25T21:07:00.003-05:00

So even though I've been very spiritually minded the last few months and in a pretty good place with regard to my testimony, I've had a really tough time liking church. Truth be told I haven't liked it much for over a year. Why?

A: I'm in a dreaded:

B: That singles ward is not so much a singles ward as it is a ward full of 18-20 year old girls and only a handful of guys.

Now, I don't want to knock the younger girls...some are absolutely wonderful, but the simple fact that I'm now in my late twenties and still "single" (ugh...its like a Mormon 4 letter word at my age!) just makes being in such a ward rather unbearable at times.

Its just not easy to relate to the younger girls anymore, they don't have the life experience yet. Also its very frustrating watching those barely legal girls get engaged while I sit here rotting away like a spinster.

Needless to say, I've had a bad attitude about my ward for awhile. I've even thought seriously about starting to attend a family ward instead.

Today however I really really enjoyed church! The sacrament talks were excellent, I taught Sunday school which seemed to go relatively well, and even Relief Society, which admittedly has become my least favorite hour of church, was absolutely wonderful today. I felt the Spirit a lot and had some great thoughts and insight about myself and my life and some of the decisions I'm facing right now.

Overall it was just a really great Sunday and I'm very glad...maybe there's hope for me in the "nanny" ward afterall!

2008 Review

2009-01-19T15:31:00.009-05:00

January is more than half way through, but I decided to do a little review of the past year in my life. It was easily one, if not the most challenging year of my life so far and I have been both thrilled to see it finally end and grateful for all that I learned and for all the growth it brought to my life.

In 2008 I.....

1) Suffered my first true broken heart and after a year of struggling am finally beginning to mend it. My relationship with John was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to go through and it really made me see in myself how naieve I was about love. It was painful but taught me so much about myself and helped me see what I'm really looking for in my life and the kind of person I need to be with. It took an entire year, but I've finally made peace within myself that I was never meant to be with him and that finding the strength to let him go was a great blessing.

2) Worked and worked and worked. My job this year was very challenging. Lack of vacation time, a very stressful summer, and my damaged heart made for a difficult year on the job but I'm so grateful for the family I work for, for their patience with me during my hard year and the love my two little kiddos show me every day. Its chaotic, its messy, its crazy and busy but I do still love my job and still love working with kids. Its also taught me so much about what kind of mom and wife I want to be and how I want to take care of my own home and family, hopefully someday soon!

3) Found peace with myself and My Savior

I'm not perfect and in this life I won't be....but its okay, Heavenly Father knew we couldn't be and he provided the way through our dear Savior. He takes what I can give and makes up the rest. What a miraculous thing the Atonement is. I felt for years that all I could do was never enough and while that is true, I never allowed myself to really understand The Saviors willingness to take the rest of the burden. It somehow felt wrong to me to put that onto Him....I had to find the way to be perfect on my own or I'd never be okay. But that is His purpose, and I have to allow Him into my life to be MY Savior. I truly found that peace this year as I found myself lost in very dark places. The only way out of the darkness was through Him and I'm so grateful for that. It is still a process, but slowly I'm allowing Him to change me, to strengthen me and to light my way back to our Heavenly Father.

4) I received my temple endowment

The highlight of my year and truly one of the highlights of my entire life took place on December 6, 2008 when escorted by my mom and accompanied by my best friend I received my endowment at the Manhattan Temple! It was the most amazing, spiritual experience I've ever had and I know that had it not happened at the end of such a difficult year I never could have fully appreciated that joy and peace I felt in my heart that day.

2008 was a very long and difficult journey...I'm glad its over and look forward to the future

Winter Winter Go Away

2009-01-19T15:21:00.003-05:00

So, I'm really done with winter. Christmas is over and now its just plain cold and gray and wet and blah. After the holidays there is nothing magical about the snowy cold of winter. I am now ready for Spring...and it will be awhile to wait. *sigh*

On the happy side, this past weekend I attended the temple and got to do sealings for the very first time which was really a great experience. I have been going to the temple every week and I love it every time. Its the highlight of my week!

In a couple weeks I'll be taking a trip to Utah which I'm very excited for! I can't wait to see all my friends and to visit some of the temples in Utah and especially to see my family, including my new little nephew, Elijah! Yay!

Also, this week I'll be starting school again. I'm just taking one final class I need for my AS degree but it will be a tough one. Science, ugh! My brain just does NOT work well in that area! haha But hopefully as its my only class I'll be able to do well!

Other than that, my life is pretty much same old same old :)

Christmas Eve with Christ

2008-12-24T20:42:00.003-05:00

On this Christmas Eve, I've found myself stuck here in Connecticut alone, unable to travel home to Utah this year to visit my family as I typically do. I've been sitting in my apartment feeling the crushing loneliness surrounding me all evening and feeling very resentful of the holiday season when I have no one special to share it with this year.

Under my little Christmas tree in the corner of the room sat one solitary gift from my mother. I knew it was a book, as that has always been our Christmas Eve tradition. I also knew it would be a book to enrich my testimony as she has made it a habit of giving me wonderful gospel books.

As I sat there, feeling completely alone, I saw the book under my tree and knew it was time to open it. As I pulled the paper off I was instantly struck with the burning of The Spirit, just from the image on the cover:

One glimpse of the nail print in Christ's hand and I knew I'd found my company for the evening, I am not alone tonight, my Savior is with me.

I devoured the beautiful book, its a coffee table style book where the photographer has brilliantly captured significant moments of the life of Christ. The photographers story touched my heart and pictures brought tears to my eyes. There is also music (which I just bought on itunes...my "Christmas" music for this year) as well as a DVD (which I totally want as well).

The Website: http://www.reflectionsofchrist.org/

My two favorite photos:

Walking on Water

Resurrection

"He is not here: for he is risen." ~Matthew 28:6

Mom, thank you so much for this most wonderful of Christmas Eve books! I love you!!!

Snow, snow, a sore throat....oh yeah...and more snow!

2008-12-21T20:58:00.006-05:00

Okay, so Thursday night the kids' school called a snow day for Friday. When I woke up on Friday morning our yard looked like this:

I know! What a blizzard!!! Thank goodness for a snow day huh??? *insert eye roll*

It was all okay though...we got to sleep in and have fun the whole day. The fun started with Alexander, my 6 yr old, suggesting that we make crepes for breakfast. I got very excited! Crepes are a *MAGICAL* food (according to Kate the Great - have I ever told you the story of how Kate once wrote a whole paper for my foods class on crepes? I haven't?? Well that's a fabulous story...remind me to tell you someday! haha) Anyway....the trouble was, I've never made crepes! And those who know me know that I'm not the greatest chef on the block (unless you want enchiladas....then watch out Food Network! You got nothin on me!) but I decided to be brave, looked up a simple recipe online and went to work. Low and behold my made-from-scratch crepes were a tremendous success! So yummy! I was quite proud of me! :D

Around lunch time we finally started getting the promised snow (kids could have totally done a half day but whatever!) and boy did it snow a ton! Quite the blizzard...so the kids and I played outside for awhile....even made snow angels on the tennis court! LOL

So thanks to the blizzard we've been stuck at home all weekend and thanks to the snow angels I've had a sore throat as well :( Ugh...nothing but chicken soup and herbal tea for me! Hopefully I'll be better soon!

Its A Waveny Park Christmas Buddy!

2008-12-16T00:42:00.001-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Blessings & Happiness

2008-12-11T09:08:00.006-05:00

So this past week I've received so many blessings I can't even count them! However, I need to mention the two that are the most significant and have brought the most tremendous joy!

The first was receiving my Endowment at the Manhattan Temple last Friday :)

The lead up to it was crazy and drove me nearly insane, I know that opposing forces were working on me right up till the moment I walked through the temple doors (as was evidenced when I burst into tears at the counter in the distribution center where I'm sure the lady who helped me thought I was a lunatic!) but once I was inside I felt so peaceful and calm and wonderful. The Spirit that day was stronger than I've ever felt it and having my mom by my side and my best friend there to hold my hand made it all the better! It was easily one of the most, if not THE most amazing and marvelous day of my life!

Sitting in the Celestial Room (yep, that's it in the pic!!) all I could think was how grateful I was for being there and the feeling I had there and how that moment wasn't worth trading for ANYTHING in the whole world. Not one single stupid sin could EVER be worth trading that moment! It was wonderful and I can't wait to go back again and again (starting with this Saturday!)

The second great blessing this week was my new little nephew: Elijah James Willis

Elijah James Willis
12-10-08
7 lbs.
19 Inches
Born: 10:01 am

Ward Thanksgiving

2008-11-18T11:23:00.001-05:00

Half Way There!

2008-11-17T10:05:00.003-05:00

So yesterday I had my Bishop Interview for my temple recommend! Yay! Just one more interview to go and it'll be official! I can't wait!

I went to the temple for baptisms again on Saturday which was really neat. I was supposed to be joining another youth group but they did not show up so I was the only one there. That meant I ended up getting to do about 3 times as many baptisms and confirmations as you normally do which was fun. I know after I go through for the other things I probably won't do baptisms very often so I'm glad I've been able to go each week and do a lot of those now.

The bishop asked me yesterday to make a goal for how many times I'll use my new recommend over the two years that its good for. I've decided to try and go twice a month so that's almost 50 times! Its a lot but I know I can make it happen. Going every week has been really nice and I may even try to keep that habit up but I figure if I shoot for twice a month that's more do able. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! :)

Rain Rain, Go Away!

2008-11-14T09:56:00.002-05:00

So the last few days have been depressingly dark and dreary here in CT and I can feel it starting to drag me down. I miss light during the day...it feels like constant evening here. I miss the sun and the energy it provides my life.

Other than that though things are going alright. Working on my temple preparations! Yesterday I read several chapters of scripture including Matthew 18 which talks about forgiveness. Last night at Institute we talked about the Beatitudes, more forgiveness and about proper communication with the Lord through the marvelous prayer! All good messages :)

I have a goal to try and read Matt, Mark, Luke and John all before going through the temple. My dear lovely Aubrey Dee has informed me that she feels the best way to prepare for the temple is to get to know The Savior so I felt reading through his life here on Earth would be a good way to help do that. I had also planned to read Jesus, The Christ but I've been horribly slacking on that one. I know its available on lds.org for audio download so perhaps I'll put it on my ipod and try to get through it in time that way.

Last Sat at the temple I talked to the distribution center and ordered my temple dress :) I'm getting very excited, its coming so fast! I can't wait for my mom and Aubrey to get here too! I need time with them very much...its been way too long!

Um....no words for this....lol

2008-11-11T21:48:00.006-05:00

Okay, so tonight I went onto Facebook to check things out and discovered that a friend in my ward had some fun with a website he discovered...Volkswagon Babymaker!

We now have a folder full of babies that would be born in our singles ward if we all hooked up! lol I was looking through them and was quite surprised to discover that MY future offspring had been invented if I were to reproduce with my friend Rob....here's a pic of me and Rob:

And here is a picture of our...um....adorable?....baby, who apparently has been named Tayshaun HAHAHA

Too funny...I'm at a loss for words! Anyway if anyone else wants to see how they're babies might turn out check out the site...its hysterical! http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/

Oh and FYI: with the results it's sort of animated...not sure how my friend got just a normal pic of them...must be some sort of screen capture trick I don't know lol

My New Obsessions

2008-11-11T10:01:00.005-05:00

So at my ward Halloween party a week or so ago I played Rock Band for the first time and oh my gosh I'm now sooooo addicted to it! I played it again this past Friday at another party and was sold...I went out this weekend and bought it! lol I'm rocking out on guitar...now if I can just figure out how to set up the silly drums cause I'm not good at playing those at all, I really need the practice! In the next week or two some girls from my ward want to get together at my house for a movie/rock band party :) That will be fun! Also in video game obsessions my other new favorite game is Singstar where two teams of karaoke players battle it out to see who sings better. We've been playing it in our ward at parties and even at FHE last night and it is such a blast! That's on my soon-to-purchase list as well haha

Another recently discovered obsession is these lovely little candy eggs.....caramel creaminess, marshmellow fluffiness, chocolatly covered heavenly delicious! Seriously....Cadbury has NOTHING on these things! Its very good for me that these are a seasonal item and now the season is over! lol

Last but certainly not least is my new joyous obsession with the Manhattan Temple! Not everyone is probably aware of it...its sort of been a quietly made decision, but I'm going to be going through the temple for my endowment in about a month. In preparation for this I've been visiting the temple to do baptisms every Saturday and have been loving it. The peace and calm I feel in the temple is so amazing. Right now I can feel opposing forces dragging me down, trying to keep this choice from happening, but when I'm in the temple all that force just melts away and I know I'm exactly where I need to be. Going to the temple is amazing! I love it and I'm so glad they built the Manhattan Temple so that I have one close by as I prepare for this big moment in my life.

Unexpected Company

2008-11-07T10:18:00.003-05:00

Isabella, my little 4-yr-old I nanny is home sick today...her brother supposedly didn't get much sleep because he kept getting woken up by his sister so he's home to today "much too tired for school"....right, whatever lol I hope I'm never a parent that is that ridiculous!

Oh well, at least when they're sick you just spend the day relaxing. Right now we're watching Enchanted, this movie is excellent! haha

Welcome To My Blog!

2008-11-06T12:26:00.002-05:00

My dearest friends and family...welcome to my blog! So lately I've been reading blogs from other friends here on Blogger and feeling rather jealous. Though my life isn't all that exciting and entertaining I still want to make my own blog just because I can...and it will give me something to do during my free time rather than be lazy (as shown above haha)

If nothing else, I'm way over here in CT and my dear family and many of my closest friends are in fact not way over here so I figure if nothing else you guys can all check this out and see how I'm doing out on the East Coast. I love you all, enjoy the blog!